User:Saxopownist89/sandbox

Biography- I was born before time in the house that I built with my bare hands. My mother was a diabetic from the age of seventeen. My father was God. I was conceived in my full grown form and came out of the womb duly so. Unfortunately, my mother died in childbirth, since I was nearly 8 feet tall. I was baptized by Abraham Lincoln after he beat Jesus in a game of wizard's chess for the opportunity to bless me. After that, I decided to run for president of Atlantis. I was only two years old at the time, but I won with a 147% to -53% margin. I served a term of thirteen years and retired from my position. I ran was chosen as the first overall pick in the NFL, NBA, MLB, and MLS drafts and played every sport simultaneously. I won MVP in every sport, every year, and joined the hall of fame before I retired. Then, after I did retire, I gave birth to a seven headed hydra and Teddy Roosevelt. They both succeeded in life, but, needless to say, in different ways. I died at the age of 753 in 'Nam while riding a giant eagle into a volcano with TNT strapped to my chest. After the explosion, I was fine, but ironically died of a spontaneous brain seizure. And then a heart attack. And cancer. My memorial service is tomorrow, goodbye.