User:Sblum24/sandbox

Current Paragraph
The plot of Cymbeline is based on a tale in the chronicles of Raphael Holinshed and is ultimately part of the Matter of Britain, derived from the part of the Historia Regum Britanniae of Geoffrey of Monmouth about the real-life British monarch Cunobeline. Shakespeare, however, freely adapts the legend and adds entirely original sub-plots. Iachimo's wager and subsequent hiding-place inside a chest in order to gather details of Imogen's room derive from story II.9 of Giovanni Boccaccio's Decameron.

Personal Additions
Shakespeare drew influence for Cymbeline from a play called The Rare Triumphs of Love and Fortune, first performed in 1582. There are many parallels between the characters of the two plays, namely, a king's daughter who falls for a man of unknown birth who grew up in the king's court. The subplot of Belarius and the lost princes was inspired by the exiled nobleman in Rare Triumphs, Bomelio, later revealed to be the protagonist's father.

SM comments:

Honestly the only thing I can mention is asking where in the paragraph you want to put this. Your citations seem good and the info is clear and concise. I'd recommend putting it last or right in between the historical record and the wager plot, depending on whether you want to order it by chronology or by the amount of the play it influence or whatever. Since it probably won't be first, I might add the word "also" in the beginning of your first sentence, between Shakespeare and "drew".

Article Evaluation
The Jimi Hendrix Experience page offers a good look at the history of the band, but it could use some reorganizing. The lead section is a good length and it offers an unbiased overview. The rest of the article is split into 3 sections, excluding references. Those sections are "History," "Members," and "Discography." The latter two sections are just short lists of links to the Wikipedia pages of people and records. They don't offer any in-depth information aside from what was outlined in the "History" section, which consists of several long paragraphs, outweighing the other sections.

Some of the language used in the "History" section seems biased towards the band, and some information could use citations. For example, the last sentence of the second paragraph makes claims about the band members' musical influences without citing any sources. I think that the history section should be reorganized into a few sections. The first could be just about the original band and how it formed, then another could be about what caused them to break up. The next section could be about the second band and how the music was affected by a larger ensemble. Lastly, a section on the "Cry of Love" tour and the musicians' deaths.

The article could also use a section about the actual music that the band made; who wrote the songs, what was the motivation behind them, where were they were recorded, who produced them, which were the most popular, for instance.

Add a Citation Exercise
Cymbeline draws inspiration from a form of romance narrative called "the Calumny Plot," in which a wager is made on the chastity of a woman.