User:Scarletgodot/A Bronx Morning/Liroel Peer Review

General info
Scarletgodot
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:A Bronx Morning (1931)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):A Bronx Morning

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Your additions to the existing article are useful and relevant, adding new information and offering a more in-depth description of the film itself. You've added sections on Synopsis, Production, Historical Context and Leyda's Career, thus expanding the stub that was there before. I think it'd be better to retitle the last section 'Impact on Leyda's Career' just to link it back to the film.

I find the article to be neutral in general. I would like to see a citation for the Historical Context section. This is a really great section but runs the risk of being seen as assertion or interpretation rather than fact. I find the argument valuable and convincing, but I think you should back it up with something - is there an article or other source that you've read about disapproval of sound cinema, for example?

There are already many blue links to other Wiki articles; I suggest you also link to the institution that was then the Moscow Film School, Gerasimov Institute of Cinematography. Also spelling of Moscow not Moskow.

The sources that you've added check out. Ideally you would also have a reference to the essay on A Bronx Morning in the Routledge City Symphony Phenomenon book I mentioned in class, but since you are adding to an existing article which already has a couple of other good citations, I think it'll be fine without.

Finally, a note on the wiki machinery which you'll have to renegotiate - this afternoon I talked you through making your article public as we'd thought there was no existing article on the film, and I see that you have done that. Since we now know that there is an existing article, and, as advised by me, you've collated it together with your draft, I think you should actually add your new text to the existing (older) article, and delete the page you made today. Basically, go to the older page A Bronx Morning, put it in edit mode, open your new page A Bronx Morning (1931) and put in edit mode, then copy paste from the latter to the former, SECTION BY SECTION, pressing publish each time - when prompted you put 'added x section'. Then in the A Bronx Morning talk page, put a note that you've added new sections and references.

Let me know if this is not clear, happy to talk it through on the phone. Once you've completed this transfer, check it all looks as it should and put the link on the Assignment 2 submission in Canvas.

I think this is a great improvement to the page, well done for your research and good luck with the final steps.