User:Schmo132/Joel Christopher Bailey

Joel Christopher Bailey

Joel Christopher Bailey (born December 11th, 1991) is a resident of Saint Albert, Alberta, and is noted for contributions in a number of social and scientific fields, including chemistry, biology, art, liturature, martial arts, and religion. Joel has been described by many as a "God among men", and is widley accepted as the greatest human being to walk the earth.

Acomplishments

Joel has written 97 novels and composed 82 songs to date. None of these, however were ever released to the public, as they were considered "too divine" by publishers and record companys. One of Joels works, however, is in circulation. The "Jible" (juh-i-bull), as it is called, is essentialy the holy book on which the church of Joel was founded. Within can be found numerous storys of Joels exploits and shenanigans, along with an excellent recipe for a black forest torte. The Jible is not common circulation, and copys are extreamly rare. Prolonged exposure to the Jible can lead to blindness, insanity, and increased penis size. There are also scattered reports that, in the summer of 2004, Joel Bailey single handedly staved off an alien invasion. Joel has refused to comment on these speculations, and no one has ever dared to ask why. Joel is also the only living thing in the history of the universe to beat Chuck Norris in an arm wrestling match, without ever actualy arm wrestling Chuck Norris. Joel Bailey's mother has also claimed, time and time again, that her son is a catch.