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Trauma That Tranforms; Trauma that Transfixes

The word “trauma” comes from the Latin word for “dream.” A traumatic experience is a life event that changes the way one sees the world and him or her self. There is the time before the event and the time after it. The two can be totally alien to each other. Idenitities change. Sometimes trauma opens up possibilities never before dreamed of. Sometimes it closes down possibilities, never to be dreamed again. These events are so powerful they create an indelible mark on one’s identity and even one’s soul. The positive ones are generally incredibly vivid. The negative ones can be hidden and buried in the unconscious. The fact that life changed at that time, however, is usually very clear. It’s become common in recent times to think of trauma only in negative terms. We talk about Post Traumatic Stress Disorders as if they are the only possible outcome of major life events. What many in the health care field fail to recognize is that any event, whether initially catastrophic, tragic or evil can result in transformation, and any event, whether sensational, heroic or successful can result in life long fixation that transcend ordinary life. Let me give some quick examples of each. There are people who have survived natural disasters, murders of loved ones, rape and life threatening illnesses who are later able to live more fully than ever before. Then think of the high school beauty queen, Olympic champion or football star who keep reliving those moments and have nothing else that matches or gives meaning to their present lives. Obviously they are no guarantees that trauma neither guarantees life long tragedy; nor does any positive event guarantee one will live “happily ever after.” Childhood is the most vulnerable time for traumatic events. They come about when the way one expected the world to be is violated. Abandonment is the most common early trauma. Depending on the age, it can come from a few minutes, from emotional withdrawal of affection to a permanent loss or alienation from a parent. Next comes violence and sexual predators. There are positive traumas as well. A preadolescent boy or girl can be shaped by sports and military heroes of that time. The desire to fit into a particular archetype of a warrior, intellectual, poet, musician or a calling to service as a doctor, nurse or religious devotee are common outcomes of positive trauma in childhood, particularly in the preadolescent period. Sexual identities can be determine by both positive and negative traumatic events. The effects of trauma in childhood radically alters the developmental process, as I discuss in my forthcoming books “The Long Journey Home”. Who we are and who we become is profoundly shaped by both the positive and negative traumatic events of these formative years. It is the nature of a traumatic event that things change.