User:Sdreeke/Indetex's implementation of the European Green Deal/Str433 Peer Review

General info
Sdreeke
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Sdreeke/Indetex's implementation of the European Green Deal
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
The article does a good job of addressing the various ways in which Inditex is planning on increasing sustainability within their production

Lead


 * Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
 * I think the first sentence of the lead clearly and concisely introduces the article topic.
 * I think the lead could use a little more information about Inditex and what sort of clothes it supplies
 * If there is a wikipedia article about the company you could maybe link that article to yours for more background information
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections?
 * The lead could also maybe address each of the sections mentioned later on in the article such as sustainable material sourcing, emissions, reduction, etc.
 * Other than adding a little more information about Inditex, I think the lead does a good job of giving an overview of the article and addressing the main points.
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed?
 * The first sentences of the two lead paragraphs are slightly repetitive. The paragraphs could maybe be combined into one and you could take out “Inditex, one of the world’s largest fashion retailers”.

Structure


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic?
 * The information is very relevant to the topic.
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong?
 * I think it would be a bit more clear if each Inditex initiative was explicitly tied to the Green Deal objectives by briefly discussing one or two of the Green Deal objectives and how they relate.
 * I think it would be helpful if the article included information on the company’s current progress with these goals.
 * Is the content added up-to-date?
 * Yes, the content is up to date

Balance


 * Each section is well balanced with information.
 * If there is one initiative that is the biggest or that most progress has been made on there could maybe be more of an emphasis on that one.
 * Is the content added neutral?
 * It kind of seems like there is more information from the perspective of the company and how it views its aims. I think the article could have a stronger balance if there were viewpoints from other people or companies on how well Inditex is actually performing with its goals.
 * Additionally, if there is information about their current progress or how well they are doing with their goals so far this would be good information to add.
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
 * The last paragraph seems to be acting as a conclusion that attempts to get the reader to be very impressed by the goals of Inditex. Although this is an important perspective to have, it might seem a little biased. I think it would be stronger if the last paragraph focused solely on facts.

Sources


 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic?
 * I also think that the article could be made stronger by including journal article sources if they are available. I think it is important to cite the company but having the majority of sources being from the company itself could contribute to bias within the article.
 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information?
 * There is also new information in the article that does not have citations yet.
 * Check a few links. Do they work?
 * Yes, the links work

Organization


 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?
 * I think the article draft is well organized. The sections are clear and include relevant information.
 * In the emissions reduction section, I think it would be more clear if there was more detailed information on the company’s comprehensive approach through production, transportation, and other operational activities. More information on each of these aspects could help clarify the section.
 * In the supply chain transformation section, it would be helpful to include more information about the Environmental Transformation Programme and the specific steps they are taking to address water conservation, waste management, etc.
 * The company is spelt “Indetex” in the title and “Inditex” in the article

Overall, I think the article is well organized and does a good job of introducing the topic!