User:Sean831/Caffeine dependence/Josh Hwang Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Sean831


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sean831/Caffeine_dependence?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Caffeine dependence

Evaluate the drafted changes
The Wikipedia article "Caffeine Dependence" has an updated lead that clearly introduces and describes the topic. One change that needs to be made, however, is the in-text citation. Instead of using MLA format citations, the reference to Fulgoni's article must be cited properly according to Wikipedia's guidelines. There are also a few commas missing, which I have added and published to the draft.

The content in the article is relevant to the topic and adds good substance for readers. The author did a great job adding supplementary information, such as "As of right now, caffeine withdrawal qualifies as a psychiatric condition by the American Psychiatric Association, but caffeine use disorder does not." Given that this was added, however, I think it wouldn't hurt to add additional information about why one qualifies over the other, and maybe what the American Psychiatric Association is. Same goes for the last line in the "Children and teenagers" section. If the author states that the research states/suggests something, a short explanation of why would be helpful. The content is presented from a neutral standpoint with lots of references to support the statements made. After reviewing the list of references, it looks like the author stuck with reliable sources as well.

In terms of the actual writing itself, the author did a good job organizing and structuring the Wikipedia article. Everything seems to flow naturally, and it was quite engaging to read. There were certain sentences (such as the last sentence of the first paragraph) that were missing commas or felt like a run-on sentence. I made some grammatical changes where I felt were necessary, but I would recommend a grammar check before officially publishing the new article changes. Another addition that could benefit the article could be more images that help visualize caffeine dependence. I understand it is not a very concrete subject, but I think adding visuals will be another step in engaging the reader.