User:Secrettoaster/Qasr al-Hayr al-Gharbi/Bsmit24 Peer Review

General info
Secrettoaster
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Secrettoaster/Qasr_al-Hayr_al-Gharbi?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Qasr al-Hayr al-Gharbi

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Overall, I think your draft is great! You're giving the article new information--about the artwork found inside this once extravagant desert castle--that seems accurate, is beneficial to the article, and is interesting to read.

There seem to be some grammatical issues/spelling errors in your draft, for example 'complex's' should be 'complexes'.

I think some of the language in your draft is vague and could be more detailed:

-"several artistic works such as a stucco wall and fresco floor"

Initially, as I'm reading this, I'm wanting to know more. What was the stucco wall like, where was it in the castle, who made it, has it been preserved or do we know it existed as some point from sources? Same with the floor.

I also think, if you are going to reference other complexes that share similar imagery, it would be smart to include those images (if possible).

The tone of the article seems neutral and the sources seem reputable.

The only thing I might add, is that I think we were also supposed to revise the already existing article, not just add in our own information. For example, the original lead section is sufficient; the last sentence of the lead seems stuffy and awkward though and I think could be reworked to flow better.