User:Seganey/Art therapy/Lucyc2 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Seganey


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Seganey/Art_therapy?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Art therapy

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead


 * I think this article's lead is actually in pretty good shape, so you shouldn't worry about it too much except for the edits you need to make to mention how art therapy relates to dementia (maybe in the third paragraph?)

Content


 * I think your choice to focus on treatments for dementia is really inspired! Understanding art therapy through this lens gives me a more accessible image of what art therapy looks like as well as how it is used to help everyday patients
 * I agree with some of Dr. Rahn's suggestions, particularly that of paraphrasing Wang et al.'s descriptions about how art therapy affects the different brain regions. You might even want to include a small statement relating the importance of this effect to the rest of the information. How might stimulation of the temporal lobe benefit art therapy as a treatment for dementia, for example?
 * I also think you could use some expansion on your edits. When I think of art therapy treatments for dementia, I think of painting classes in elder care and outpatient clinics. Is there any research on the benefits of one-on-one versus classroom art therapies? Can you contextualize (the) Alzheimer's Association's statement that art can 'enrich' people's lives? How did art therapy evolve into a treatment for dementia? Questions like these could be on readers' minds, and they make great guidance points for research!
 * The mention of "tentative evidence" that art therapy improves patients' quality of life really intrigued me-- is there any more research on that? Any particular study of note that you could mention? I think it would be relevant to include, since it would give readers a little bit more information about how art therapy can be of tangible benefit to dementia patients

Organization


 * You've obviously made your edits with their respective placements within the article in mind, which makes sense
 * I do really want to emphasize here that some expansions and elaborations (supported by research) would go a long way. The article itself, as it stands now, reads a little choppy; there are only one or two sentences on some really prevalent and diverse illnesses (like dementia). A little more information, as well as maybe some transition sentences or phrases to help with the article's flow, would go a really long way!

Images and Media


 * I think it's up to you whether you want to add any images, but I certainly wouldn't delete the ones that are already there. Given the subject of the article, I'm guessing there are a ton of cool graphics or pictures you might choose to include!

Overall Impressions


 * I think you're off to a strong start! I really like the idea of art therapy and I'm interested in learning some more about it
 * Expansions are definitely needed, not just under dementia (though I would understand if you wanted to limit the scope of your research a little). The more you contribute, the easier I think it will be for Dr. Rahn to grade you