User:Semaj Martin/Sterilization of Latinas/Aalarus Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

https://dashboard.wikiedu.org/users/Semaj%20Martin


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Semaj%20Martin/Sterilization_of_Latinas?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Sterilization of Latinas

Evaluate the drafted changes
 Lead 

I feel like the lead is very informative. I do feel like a slight word change in the opening would be a better fit. In the sentence where you say, "...can be defined as a form of oppression that was implemented to force Puerto Rican women and families assimilate their political and economic desires to be more aligned with the mainland’s in an effort to uphold race and class power differentials." the word defined can be argued by some. It seems to me like it go against the neutrality of Wikipedia; a simple fix could be using the word "illustrates" instead of "defined". That way it gives the reader more of a vision to consider, whereas how it reads now if more definite to one side. I hope that make sense.

I like the amount of information you are giving to the topic. I did notice in the original article that the section on Mexican women and sterilizations is lacking citations and overall more information. I would like to see the story of Guadalupe Acosta maybe placed in there; I am confident that this is something you may have already had in mind. I think the original Wikipedia article already has a ton of information on Puerto Rican women and enhancing the Mexican perspective is going to tie together nicely in the whole scope of Latino/a sterilizations.

Last thing I would suggest for the lead is to make it more concise or even shorter. I think using some of the supporting evidence can be moved into another section of it's own. In addition, inserting your sources as hyperlinks whenever you quote them will help the reader identify easily where the information is coming from.

 Content 

When it comes to content, I feel like you are all in. It is obvious that you did your research and know what you are talking about, I would feel confident quoting your research. I think the biggest thing I see missing is that actual sources. I see you created a reference section but again no link to your reference. If you click on the bibliography tap and scroll to the bottom, you will see a section where you can copy and paste your links to your sources. Then if you want to put that link into the body of your writing, you click "link" from your toolbar and paste your resource it will populate that link to insert for you. I do not know if you were aware of this and it took me awhile to find it also; but it really gives a boost to the credibility of the writing.

In addition to what I mentioned above, when it comes to content gaps, the biggest one I was able to identify is, the lacking information of other Hispanic women outside of Puerto Ricans.

Overall, your content, organization, tone, and balance look well. Again, I would work on adding those hyperlinks, listing your sources in your bibliography, and shedding more light on other Hispanic groups to balance the overwhelming information on Puerto Rican women specifically. In conclusion of this review, I acknowledge I am not an English major and I do not know where you are in the editing process; but some sentences feel too long. Maybe proof reading and making minor punctuation changes.