User:Serenity Siren/Sleep disorder

Obstructive sleep apnea[edit]
Obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) affects around 4% of men and 2% of women in the United States. In general, this disorder is more prevalent among men. However, this difference tends to diminish with age. Women experience the highest risk for OSA during pregnancy, and tend to report experiencing depression and insomnia in conjunction with obstructive sleep apnea.

In a meta-analysis of the various Asian countries, India and China present the highest prevalence of the disorder. Specifically, about 13.7% of the Indian population and 7% of Hong Kong's population is estimated to have OSA. The two groups in the study experience daytime OSA symptoms such as difficulties concentrating, mood swings, or high blood pressure, at similar rates (prevalence of 3.5% and 3.57%, respectively). Obesity can influence the disturbance in sleep patterns resulting in OSA.

Obesity is a risk factor for OSA because it can affect the upper respiratory system by accumulating fat deposition around the muscles that's surrounding the lungs and the collapsibility. (The last portion of this sentence "and the collapsibility" doesn't make sense as structured. Collapsibility of what?) Obesity in the abdomen can also have a harmful effect on the upper respiratory system. (is this relevant to the topic?) Additionally, OSA can irritate obesity by impacting prolong ing sleepiness throughout the day, leading to decreases  reduced ' of physically activity and an inactive lifestyle. '

 Instructor feedback: 

'' Please see my proposed changes/questions above in italics and underlined. I encourage you to consider and respond to each. I would also encourage you to bring over more of the published Wikipedia article to illustrate where additional proposed edits will go and how they will interface with the existing article. You have included some relevant information that is appropriately sourced with an example of peer-reviewed secondary literature published in the last ten years. ''

 Peer Review Feedback: 

After carefully considering the feedback provided by my peers, I have decided not to make changes based on the reviews from Sdmlas and Madnel4. Both reviews mentioned similar points regarding the article. They expressed concerns about the length of the lead section, the organization of the list of conditions, the complexity of certain sections, and suggested some information should be omitted or rearranged. However, since I did not write the article myself, I have chosen not to make modifications. I believe the article flows well with the information it currently presents, and I was able to read it without encountering any issues or questioning its length. I believe that having a wealth of information can be beneficial and serve a purpose, as it may offer valuable insights to those seeking answers.

However, I found Spenn7's review of my article helpful in identifying areas where certain information may not be necessary. They pointed out specific sentences that did not seem relevant to my contribution. Incorporating this feedback will ensure that my contribution is more accurate and complete.

 New Draft 

'Obesity is a risk factor for OSA because it can affect the upper respiratory system by accumulating fat deposition around the muscles surrounding the lungs. Additionally, OSA can irritate the obesity by prolonging sleepiness throughout the day leading to reduced physical activity and an inactive lifestyle.'  Section Added: 

>  Obesity and Sleep Apnea 

''' The worldwide incidence of obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) is on the rise, largely due to the increasing prevalence of obesity in society. In individuals who are obese, excess fat deposits in the upper respiratory tract can lead to breathing difficulties during sleep, giving rise to OSA. There is a strong connection between obesity and OSA, making it essential to screen obese individuals for OSA and related disorders. Moreover, both obesity and OSA patients are at higher risk of developing metabolic syndrome. Implementing dietary control in obese individuals can have a positive impact on sleep problems and can help alleviate associated issues such as depression, anxiety, and insomni a. '' Obesity is a risk factor for OSA because it can affect the upper respiratory system by accumulating fat deposition around the muscles surrounding the lungs. Additionally, OSA can irritate the obesity by prolonging sleepiness throughout the day leading to reduced physical activity and an inactive lifestyle. '