User:Serineyahya/Evolution of the brain/Lrodr053 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(Serineyahya)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Serineyahya/Evolution of the brain


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Evolution of the brain

Evaluate the drafted changes
For the sandbox draft there were a couple sentences present. My evaluation is going to concern the sentences present and the current version of the article.


 * 1) I think the first sentence concerning the "origin of homo" can be broken down and discussed heavily in much greater detail (will help you add length if needed)
 * 2) I would also look at the citation section to find topics for discussion it is very informing.
 * 3) I think the mention of the scientific revolution is unnecessary, if you mean you want to discuss the time in science which was revolutionary to human history then yes continue possibly just reword.
 * 4) The section "Brain re-arrangement" could use some more scientific evidence, I think if you discuss how the brain cranial capacity adjusted to the newly developed regions of the brain you will be good.
 * 5) Add pictures there it is a lot of words with no visualizations.
 * 6) I think the "evolution of the human brain" section could be revised and more detailed towards human past evolution, such as explaining  how the brain development was caused by the surrounding environment.
 * 7) I would connect all homo species to the modern human and how they differ.