User:Sfwarriors99/Hyper-surveillance

Peer review Mary Jane 404
This is where you will complete your peer review exercise. Please use the following template to fill out your review.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing? sfwarriors99
 * Link to draft you're reviewing:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sfwarriors99/Hyper-surveillance?action=edit

Lead
Guiding questions:


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?
 * Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections? No doesn't have history in it.
 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article? Yes but that's just because those sections haven't been written yet.
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed? a bit detailed.

Content
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic? yes
 * Is the content added up-to-date? yes
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong?
 * Does the article deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics?no

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added neutral?
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another?

Sources and References
Guiding questions:


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information?
 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic?
 * Are the sources current?
 * Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible?
 * Check a few links. Do they work?

Organization
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read?
 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors?
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?

Images and Media
Guiding questions: If your peer added images or media


 * Does the article include images that enhance understanding of the topic?
 * Are images well-captioned?
 * Do all images adhere to Wikipedia's copyright regulations?
 * Are the images laid out in a visually appealing way?

For New Articles Only
If the draft you're reviewing is a new article, consider the following in addition to the above.


 * Does the article meet Wikipedia's Notability requirements - i.e. Is the article supported by 2-3 reliable secondary sources independent of the subject?
 * How exhaustive is the list of sources? Does it accurately represent all available literature on the subject?
 * Does the article follow the patterns of other similar articles - i.e. contain any necessary infoboxes, section headings, and any other features contained within similar articles?
 * Does the article link to other articles so it is more discoverable?

Overall impressions
Guiding questions:


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?
 * What are the strengths of the content added? History section is very clear and straight to the point.
 * How can the content added be improved? More sections, more citations, more sources, mention all sections in lead.

Copy Edit

Hyper surveillance is the intricate surveillance of an entire or a substantial fraction of a population in order to monitor that group of citizens that specifically utilizes technology and security breaches to access information.

As the reliance on the internet economy grows, smarter technology with higher surveillance concerns and snooping means allow workers to have increased surveillance at their workplace. citation Hyper surveillance is highly targeted and intricate observation and monitoring among an individual, group of people, or faction.

History
In the middle of the 1970s, the American penal system or prison system expanded rapidly. As a result, 1 in 35 adults are in correctional supervision nationwide. citation The surveillance systems has created targeted and specific supervision. The use of surveillance systems has been targeted against black and Latino men citation. Consequently, men of color are found to be stopped by police at higher rates. For example, in some neighborhoods, police stop over 500 out of 1000 residents in their lifetime due to hyper surveillance systems. Citation

Hyper surveillance extends beyond the crime control agents and police system as it has been documented in schools, community organizations, and other places citation. Research finds that hyper surveillance can lead to targeted and specific focus on an individual leading to profiling and predictive policing. citation

Your Draft

Hyper surveillance is the intricate surveillance of an entire or a substantial fraction of a population in order to monitor that group of citizens that specifically utilizes technology and security breaches to access information.

As the reliance on the internet economy grows, smarter technology with higher surveillance concerns and snooping means allow workers to have increased surveillance at their workplace. Hyper surveillance is highly targeted and intricate observation and monitoring among an individual, group of people, or faction.

History
In the middle of the 1970s, the American penal system or prison system expanded rapidly. As a result, 1 in 35 adults are in correctional supervision nationwide. The surveillance systems has created targeted and specific supervision. The use of surveillance systems has been targeted against black and Latino men. Consequently, men of color are found to be stopped by police at higher rates. For example, in some neighborhoods, police stop over 500 out of 1000 residents in their lifetime due to hyper surveillance systems.

Hyper surveillance extends beyond the crime control agents and police system as it has been documented in schools, community organizations, and other places. Research finds that hyper surveillance can lead to targeted and specific focus on an individual leading to profiling and predictive policing.