User:ShantelleB/Onchidella binneyi/Edmokamsi Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Emadish & ShantelleB


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Onchidella binneyi


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The lead section is pretty good. It provides some information on the species and introduces the subject of the article sufficiently. However, the incorporation of information from each section is a bit lacking. Try adding one or two sentences describing some major information (ex. where Onchudella binneyi is distributed, its inherent toxicity, its behaviour, etc.) That way, your lead section can provide a better summary of the entire article. I do appreciate the conciseness of this section and I think it should be maintained if future edits are made.

I have no issue with the content. It appears to be relevant, well researched, and representative of an underrepresented group. The same is true for the tone. I found it to be very neutral, simply presenting the information as found by the writers.

Organizationally, the article is pretty sound. However, there were a few wording issues that I think can be improved. For the sake of concision, try making paragraphs a bit more concise and better worded. For example, start the distribution section with the species name rather than including it in the second sentence. Furthermore, there isn't really any need for the species name to be written in full after the "Description" section. I would suggest using O. binneyi in the rest of the sections. Also, you should begin the "Description" section with Onchidella binneyi and remove the "The". It sounds much better that way. Lastly, for the "Importance" section, use contractions if you can (it's instead of it is). Look over it a bit to make sure the subject of each sentence is clear. The frequent usage of "it" or "they" could get a bit confusing.

Overall, I enjoyed this article. Sea slugs are really interesting to me and this article taught me a lot that I didn't know about them. Your references are reliable and, other than a few minor edits, I think this article is a job well done!