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When their children finally “leave the nest,” parents must begin to adjust their lives accordingly. When their children finally “leave the nest,” parents must begin to adjust their lives accordingly.

Effects

Empty Nest Syndrome can affect both parents; however, research has shown that it affects women the most. In most cases, women hold the role as the primary caregiver for their children. They dedicate a significant portion of their life to raising their children and view their role as a mother to be their sole purpose in life. Once her children have finally moved out of the house, a mother may feel that her life has lost its purpose and that her most important job is finished. A woman may feel worthless and unsure as to where her life will progress toward in the future. Psychologists suggest that it may take between eighteen months and two years to make the successful transition from mom to independent woman. Similarly to women, men are affected by Empty Nest Syndrome; however, the way in which they cope with their children’s departure is entirely different. The role of the mother has changed significantly over the past few years. Many women hold full time jobs and work outside of the home. As a result, parents may share the role of the primary caregiver for the children. In some cases, men hold the responsibility of the raising and upbringing of the children. According to psychologist Helen DeVries, new research suggests that men suffer the most when their children finally leave home. This is partly because men and women experience and cope with their children’s departures very differently. In a study conducted by Dr. DeVries, women who held the role of a traditional, stay at home mother actually looked forward to their children leaving home. According to Dr. DeVries, they had started planning and preparing for the next stage, whether that meant going back to school, going to work or exploring new interests.[4] In comparison, the men surveyed made no preparations for their children’s departure and did not view it as a major transition. Consequently, men were less prepared to handle the emotional outcomes because they had neglected to prepare themselves for their children’s departure. As a result, fathers were more likely to express regrets over lost opportunities to be involved in their children’s lives before they left home.[5] Contrary to popular belief, pets can also suffer from Empty Nest Syndrome. The bond between children and their pets is incredibly strong, which is why it is possible that pets may suffer when children permanently move out of the house. Pets are extremely susceptible to separation anxiety, one of the effects of Empty Nest Syndrome. Pets, for their part, will exhibit this anxiety through a range of behavioral signs, including panting, pacing, whining, barking and destruction. [6] Some pets may suffer from loss of appetite in extreme cases. New Challenges

Parents will experience a lot of challenges when facing with empty nest syndrome. Some of those challenges include having to establish a new kind of relationship with their child adult child after they leave home. Also having to become a couple again after sharing their home with their children for years. With you child being absent you will have to fill the void in your daily routine. (7)

Coping

First when dealing with empty ness syndrome you need to recognize there may be grieving process, and that is normal. Try and find joy in your journey. You should try and think of your life as a blank slate now. Is there anything that you have you wanted to do that you have postponed? (8) Also if you are experiencing empty ness syndrome that you should pay attention to signs of depression. If you are sleeping too little or too much, eating too little or too much, or crying excessively, that you should seek professional helps. Let yourself experience the emotion of this new phase in your life. It is a change and a transition, and you will adjust to. Take the time to evaluate how being an empty nester affects you. Don’t make impulsive changes without processing what you are feeling.

One of the easiest ways for parents to cope with their children’s departure is to keep in contact with them. Cell phones as well as text messaging are primary ways to keep in contact with other people. Another method of communication is through e-mail or social media networks such as Facebook. A program called Skype, allows people to contact one another via webcam, and has become increasingly popular over the past few years. Support groups urge parents to take advantage of their new life and to make use of the free time they have acquired. Research has concluded that the majority of parents and guardians discovered that their children leaving home could have many positive effects. Parents found they had more money each month to spend on themselves and on average they felt ten years younger. They also had an increased number of friends and felt their romantic relationship and love life had improved. According to Karen L. Fingerman, PhD, a psychologist and associate professor at Purdue University, once children leave the household, parents are able to pursue their own goals/interests, which they did not have time to do while raising children. Once their children left home, parents also were able to renew their relationships with their siblings.[9]

7. Turtle Snow, L. (2011). Advice for coping with empty nest syndrome. KSL.COM. Retrieved April 1st 2012. http://www.ksl.com/?nid=1010&sid=17408566 8. Empty nest syndrome. (2010) Better Health Channel. Retrieved April 1st 2012. http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Empty_nest_syndrome