User:Shastacity/Sashta City

Shasta City is an autonomous city-state located at the trackside of Pocono Raceway, Pennsylvania, USA. Although the area in its current form has been populated for approximately four years, the official incorporation date of the State was July 6, 2009.



Geography
The geographical situation of Shasta City is similar to Vatican City, in that it is landlocked and surrounded on all sides by a NATO-member. Shasta City currently has diplomatic relations with its immediate neighbours. However, although Shasta City is not an aggressive entity, boisterous noise activity within the enclave has heightened diplomatic tensions in the past. The year 2009 was notably peaceful in this regard, as no external armed forces were deployed to Shasta City's demilitarized zone (DMZ). Shasta City's immediate neighbour to the west, Crackerville, was not as fortunate, and came within minutes of total annihilation. This contributed to Shasta City's enforcement of the so-called controversial "Internal Speaker" law for the foreseeable future. Interestingly, the population adapted quickly to this new law. One unexpected result of the new law was that tourism increased by almost two hundred percent within an hour.

Population
The population of Shasta City ranges from a low of five (June 2008) to a maximum of eight (June 2009). Visas are not required to visit the interior enclave.

Natural Resources
Shasta City has no known natural sources of ethanol, which is used primarily for cultural purposes. Because the known supply of ethanol continues to dwindle, it is customary for visitors to the City to import enough for the consumption of the primary population. Due to Peak Ethanol occurring at approximately 9:30AM on June 8th, 2008, a seriously large importation of the natural resource was made twice in 2009 to prevent the supply from achieving full depletion.

Incredibly, there is a notable undersupply of vegetables, thus forcing the population to subsist on a mostly carnivorous diet - the items most resembling vegetables within the confines of Shasta City are ribs and pickled eggs. Due to the natural interaction of open-fire comestibles with an almost-continuous flow of ethanol, this has not proven a health issue for the locals. However, there have not been any longer-term studies evaluating the Shasta City lifestyle, the longest study being only three days.

Although Shasta City's amenities are, by almost any standard, considered basic, it does have an (unreliable) supply of running water and (more reliable) electricity. Water continues to be an issue, and because of this Shasta City is looking into forming diplomatic relations with Aggressive Plumber. No official talks have taken place, though, and it is unclear whether Aggressive Plumber's diplomatic goals would be compatible with Shasta City's.

Culture and Music


The native music of Shasta City consists mostly of American-style rock. The city's inhabitants are serious about their musical tastes, and are unafraid to express their displeasure if others dare to change it. One such incident involved the Canadian band Arcade Fire, which resulted in the only civil war that Shasta City has known in its present form. Although there are no witnesses to the civil war, and the United Nations was not involved as a witnessing agency, it is believed that the Civil War lasted approximately two minutes. Minor incidents have recently been reported, resulting in nothing more than the natives expressing their displeasure through vocal means.

Air guitar and table drumming are the musical instruments of choice.

Government
Shasta City's neighbours have helped to form the culture of the natives. Particularly of note is the mayor of CrackerVille, Daddy Cracker, whose native headdress initially so impressed Shasta City's population that they believed him to be a demigod. Closer inspection found that the head ornament was sent directly by the Gods of Crown Royal. Like the country of Canada, the official (and popular) Head of State for Shasta City lives not within the enclave itself, but just outside. Shasta City's population holds DC as a deity for his unearthly ability to consume copious amounts of ethanol. He occasionally bares gifts upon the subjects of Shasta City, in the form of multi-coloured ethanol or meat that he has sacrificed himself.

Due to DC's deity status, any directive that DC bestows on the population of Shasta City is taken seriously. One major directive was given on June 7, 2009, at approximately 6:30PM EST. This directive gave serious warning to the population of Shasta City to look for lead-pellets within a duck that he had sacrificed. Without such wise warnings, surely some of the Shasta City subjects would have been killed through asphyxiation.

Daddy Cracker's chosen disciples include Rocco, who appears to be the moneychanger, and a curious Midget. The midget is often seen hiding within the safe confines of Daddy Cracker's official quarters, and food is sent to him via the midget viewing portal. When feeling comfortable with his surroundings, the Midget will occasionally be seen wandering around the grounds of Crackerville, but never wandering far. Care must be taken to not disturb it, especially when it is sitting in the back of a Royal Pickup Truck in the official Royal Lawn Chair, as furious vengeance may result.



Neighbouring Populations
Other neighbouring countries include those whose populations consist primarily of swingers.

The primary import market of so-called "Swinger Nations" consists of coloured plastic beads, and the export market primarily of ethanol (which, in turn, is mostly imported by Shasta City)

Migration
Once a year Shasta City leaves its native geographical area to be hosted with the autonomous country of Canada. This seven hour journey involves a very dangerous border crossing at approximately hour six. Although the 2009 migration resulted without diplomatic incident, the crossing in 2008 nearly resulted in all-out war. Before the residents could respond to evil-intentioned threats from Canada, Shasta City was bombarded with high-energy Gamma radiation for a significant amount of time. After being exposed to radiation, Shasta City was then physically invaded by Canadian ground forces. Due to quick wit and a disarmingly good looking population, the ground forces were convinced to leave the land they had invaded.

No other serious incidents have been recently reported.

History
Shasta City has a long and varied history. Many a person has started or ended their journey in this unique enclave. It has had a profound influence on many a toddler, turning them into life long rascals. There is no shortage of Shasta City mischievous adventures for those of all ages....one eighty-year-old man still recollects his first true love affair inside the Shasta's confines!

Future
The future of Shasta City remains bright. As long as the ethanol and meat supply keep on being replenished by outside shipments, there is no reason that the city-state cannot remain autonomous. There is some concern about its infrastructure stability, as inspections have shown some deterioration. However, it is thought that any immediate infrastructure failure would go unnoticed by the majority of the local population.