User:ShaynaSaltzburg/Wunderbar Syracuse/TheWittyOwls Peer Review

General info
ShaynaSaltzburg, SPark0141
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:ShaynaSaltzburg/Wunderbar Syracuse - Wikipedia:Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead: Introduces the subject of the article well, but it seems a little too general. The lead should be Wunderbar specific, yet it seems to describe queer spaces as a whole.

Content: In history section, add addresses for context, and add examples of space qualities. Pictures would help a lot with detailing the space.

Tone and Balance: Some words are filler like, "Wunderbar had a solid social media presence." "Solid" is subjective and doesn't add to the article's subject. Rewording sentences and phrases will make sentences more fact oriented.

Organization: I would put the mission before the history section, but other than that the headers flow well from one to another.

New Article: Could do with a few more sources if possible. Using images or info boxes, when possible, could make the article cleaner looking and concise.

Overall: The strength of this article is how there are details regarding the bar moving and events they hold. Could use more work on creating a more neutral voice.