User:Shmikeheaven/Kim She: The many Lifes OF A Prophet

Kim She, The Great Prophet
Kim She is the great prophet of Shmike. She was born sometime around 120 AD. Currently she is rumoured to be in Ireland, where she is converting the People of North Leitrim.

Kim She: The Bridge Game
here is the life of Kim She when she was born during the Industrial revolution:

Kim was tired, her mind encased in dream like a guitar in a box. She tossed and turned with horror, much like a writhing Cristiano Ronaldo. Her Philadelphia cream cheese inspired dreams haunted her mind. She dreamed of Cows with Toes, and Snakes with an IQ of 190, who listen to BBC radio 4. Finally she dreamed of something out of the ordinary, a way of crossing the water without getting wet, something that she called a Bridge.

The next morning when she woke up she went out to play on her bike with her friends, she fell, and suddenly she had a flash back, her novel idea ploughed into her brain like someone at the ploughing championship. She shot back inside, and set about creating her bridge. She gathered his material, and went into her bedroom. She created her first prototype of the bridge, which could carry an incredible 19 Lego men!!! But she needed it to carry more, what if someone decided to hold a catwalk on it? They may way half of your ordinary Lego man, but there would still be tones of them. She decided to make it from Jelly next time, instead of custard, which needed the Lego men to run across, or it was like quicksand. She also had the brainwave to create a Jellycopter, which he could use to transport the parts of the bridge. Now the bridge could carry 25 Lego men!!! That was just enough for the large amounts of fashionable clothes needed for the models.

Next she went to the mayor, a clown called Brian Clowen, who had recently displaced Bertie with a perm, as the leader of the free world. Brian told him that she had a great idea, and let her build his bridge on the river Po. Kim quickly ran to the river, and set about creating his bridge. Using her Jellycopters she quickly built his bridge, and opened it to the public. It worked well, until one day a horse and cart went across, and the horse, who wasn’t wearing blinders because they were soooo last month, ate up some of the jelly until the bridge almost collapsed!!!!!! Padder quickly came up with a solution; he would use that horrible nail stuff on the bridge. Unfortunately the horse quickly acquired a taste for the nail stuff, and the bridge collapsed. Kim pondered on using many new substances, she thought of using wood, but it would rust, wool, but it would be to sturdy and hard to work with, and so the first bridges failed to work.

Around 19 years later, a man called Tomas Girgonztivov called Kim. He had just created a new metal, which he had names after Eel Street, where he lived. He played around with the name until he came up with seelet, which his friend said was too ugly a name, so he changed it to steel. Tomas called to suggest that Kim use his new steel to make a bridge, which she did, and it was so successful that Kim made Millions of fans, they even had a convention in her honour, and she became a film star in her biopic called ‘A Woman, A Legend, A Person Who Doesn’t Play Warhammer’

During his years of happiness Satan revamped his Jellycopter after paying Kim royalties, and named it a Helicopter after his home, and it had all these cool flames painted on the sides and it was simply amazing. Kim later created his Forth road bridge, which was named the forth road bridge because she went forth to Scotland to build it, and in actual fact it was the third road bridge, the real forth road bridge being burnt down when someone dressed as the Pokémon Psyduck ran over to it, and started smoking, as he was a very stupid Pokémon, and didn’t realise that smoking kills, literally in his case because he dropped his cigarette onto a petrol stain, and, his water Pokémon powers couldn’t save him from his tragic death. Fortunately, no one was able to sue Kim for this because it was not her fault, and so she continued to make millions from her bridges. And so Kim’s life as a bridge builder came to an end.