User:Shoby231

Hi, I am Olajide Shobowale, known as Shoby by many people. I am IT guy, in search of a better and promising career. It could sometimes be hard to describe what a promising career is. Is it all about the money, the exposure, the environment, or the peace of mind you get at work? Well to me, i am not money conscious, but I want something whereby I can afford my basic needs and affect the people around in a positive way.

Sometimes I have this feeling I will not live long on this earth, which is why I feel I should make the best of the world before I leave. As it may seem, things do not work the way we plan or want it. I just lost a job I got last year November, because I did not have my visa renewed or changed to a Post Study visa, because I just finished school and I wanted my student visa to run out before I changed it. I cried on this day like a baby when the news was broken to me. I cannot remember the last time I shed tears and I pleaded with the HR Manager to help in anyway she could, but all my pleading fell on deaf hears. Then I realised that the more I cried it would change nothing. I had the worst Christmas ever in 2008, because I already made plans to spend the festive period with my family in London. With the way things turned out to be at that time, I could not becuase I was lost in thought. The girl I loved so much at that time, I could not tell her nothing about what was going on with me. I told my mum, a friend and a flat mate.

After sometime, I had to stand back on my feet and face reality becuase thinking will not change the way things were. I started doing some jobs I though I would never do again, because I had to pay out my last pay to balance my University fee for my Masters Degree and so I was broke and I also needed money to be able to pay for my visa application. Then I decided to move closer to Jesus, who is the author and finisher of everything. Also around this time, I decided to purchase SAMs Teach Yourself SAP in 24Hours, then I read about the authors of this book, and I realised that two of the authors of the book who have the kind of career I have always wished for, were Senior SAP Consultant at HP, are very strong Christians. A perfect career and a perfect life. I would not say a perfect life, becuase they have dreams about how they want life to be for them becuase as human, we can never be satisfied.

Although, in life we picture our lifes to be like that of others, but most times it turns out not to be that way. Sometimes we dream of perfect life (depending on what each and everyone calls a perfect life), but as we all know it, life ain't fair. I do not really think my job at University was a way to move up in my career, or in the way i picture it to be. This is based on the fact that I have feel I have worked hard enough for myself to start my career at a stage which I think it should be, however, it has turned out not to be that way. As much as I do not take my job to like my job at University, I wish I could be working at the moment. My life is become really sad and sober over the lost of a job i do not really like. I guess is just the saying, we do not appreciate something, until we loose it.

I try to console myself by thinking that maybe the loss of my job is just a way for me to actually wake up. I mean i come back from work by 6PM, then I lay on bed, eat and chat with Yinka, someone i picture to be my girlfriend, all night before going to bed. Looking at it from this point of view, I could actually be doing some other thing when I get back from work like; working an extra job to make more money for myself. Am still a very young man who should utilise every minute of his life. I could as well be at the library studying for my SAP or some else. Now all I do is just sit down in my room, because I do not have a job, I cannot even apply for a job right now and it so hard to read. I cannot even call the girl I think I love so much becuase am low on cash. I can't even chat with her well over the internet because I have things bothering, and when things ain't, things aint right.

Well i think I will move down to London tomorrow and see if there something I could do over there. I just keep thinking of what to do when my Post Study visa arrives. Should i come back to work for the University, if my post is still open, or should i just try a new career path. I am thinking of going to FDM Academy, but is it the right thing for me to do. I mean will have to sacrifice two years of life working for them and I get paid £10,000 per annumm. This is far less than what I use to earn while work at the University. If i look at it again from anther view, from what is been "promised" on their website, I may be involved in some project that may change my life and career. Am also thinking, should i move to London permanently? Sometimes, this promising City's might not be for everyone. I guess I might give it a try. Well i guess life is just a hard place. Time to say my prayer and I will continue later.

If i tell you am sick, will you care or will you just laugh at my back and be like how the fuck is that my business?

Am really scared men. Never been this scared in my life. I dont know what tommorrow hold for me. A lot of problems from where I come from. Really scared I might not get my visa. Everyone at home depends on me.

Some i know wrote, there is no shortcut, some dude did not do the right thing and the right time now... what is next? what will be of this dude? I think i did not do some things at the right time. I wasted my time on some bullshit.

My sister wrote recently, the world should stop i want to get off..

I do not know what to do. I have been abandoned by those I think love me. Things aint the same anymore. I can't keep in touch any longer. They re no longer bothered if dont call anymore. Why is my life turning like this now. I wish i could leave this world. I am fed up with everything. What have i done or what did i do, that I have things have to be like this for me. I have suffered enough to be going through this now. It so hard to move on when no one cares or love you. Or when someone you love dont feel the same way about you.

where did i go wrong. it hard to pray and stay focused right now. I wish i did not talk or say a word. I cannot make any move at this moment. such a difficult task to do.