User:SiewswerdnA/The Black Stork/Nicole9houston Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

SiewswerdnA


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:SiewswerdnA/The Black Stork


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * The Black Stork

Evaluate the drafted changes
I can not tell if anything has been added to the article by the student editor. The sandbox page just has his notes about what he is planning to do, so I will comment on those. There are also a few missing citations.


 * I think adding more to the introductory section is a good idea. The introduction is kind of confusing right now but make sure to keep it concise.
 * I would not add a section describing syphilis. Instead hyperlink to the Syphilis Wikipedia article.
 * Adding more information on the Bollinger case is a GOOD idea. (unless there is an existing Wikipedia page about it?)
 * Definitely add more about the film in general. The existing information is scarce and the film is the topic of the page. The already written section was confusing so I would rewrite it rewording it. More reviews might give you a more balanced article. I know it is the general consensus now that eugenics is bad but I don't think that was always the case. This article seems kind of one sided in that aspect.
 * Again instead of adding a section about Child euthanasia just link to the existing Wikipedia page
 * Again instead of adding a section about Harry J. Haiselden just link to the existing Wikipedia page

Nicole9houston (talk) 04:28, 15 March 2021 (UTC)