User:Sim(ã)o(n)

''Note: Not all of the material contained here is humour. But some is. A lot is. Most is. OK, I don't know. But I am sure you have the wisdom necessary to filter what is and what is not.''

Well, my user name is Sim(ã)o(n), and this is my user page. If you've never come here, well... This is it. Take a look! Thanks!

On a date? I can dream of it! If you should find I don't reply quickly, then I shall probably be tired or asleep. Or doing something else. Perhaps playing chess. Or perhaps reading the Bible. Or perhaps checking emails. Or something. Whatever. Probably not school, though, because I'm on holidays now. Well, anyway, I think you guys have got the idea.

WARNING

I use userboxes a lot. Therefore, many of the things I wish to say here will simply be told using userboxers, and I shall write only wherever I deem that something requires further explanation.

''NOTE: This page is currently under construction. If you find that there are here too few userboxes that would justify the above notification, rest assured that they shall soon be added!''

Why my username like this
Europe

🇵🇹 Where I live 🇪🇸 Several occasions 🇮🇹 2011 2011 🇫🇷 2013 🇩🇪 2013 & 2014 🇧🇪 2014 🇳🇱 2014

America

🇨🇦 2006 🇲🇽 2009

Africa

🇹🇳 2005 🇲🇦 2010

My name is Simão, which is Portuguese for Simon. My username is a mix of those two names. That's why...

How shall you pronounce it? Good question... Well, you can really just use the English pronunciation for Simon, that is, (or ). The Portuguese pronunciation would be ; but I assume you probably cannot say that, and a mix between both would be weird. Therefore, let's just stick to the English one, shall we?

My sexuality
Yes, essentially, that's it. There isn't really much more to say, is there?

I mean, I'm human. Wow, really? I bet you didn't see that coming, did you? Wow!

As for the girlfriend part, well... If I could find a user box saying, ‘This user has never had a girlfriend’, I would add it; same thing actually goes for ‘This user is desperate’. I'm sure you understand my situation.

(By the way, do not even get me started on homosexuality if you do not want me to waste my time here explaining everything or to cause this page to take even longer to load.)

Time
Time can be a complicated issue, can it not? Thankfully, I have organised a series of userboxes to help you deal better with the strange concept of time.

Guys, tell me: why DST? I mean, why? What is the point? Why should we bother about Daylight Saving Time (other than, of course, we must, because we must follow official time)? It's such a mess! Just a source of confusion twice a year with no actual point. Why should we do this? This stupidity annoys me so much!

There is no rational reason for one to use Daylight Saving Time. It creates lots of complication: sometimes, people forget; one must adjust the time when communicating with someone who does not use DST, or who does so on another time of the year... What is the point?

What is the point? None! Absolutely none! Just confusion! Because people just love to instil worldwide confusion. Nothing feels better than to see people changing their clocks twice a year, at different times and in different ways, so that they will be completely confused over exactly what time it is, and...

Gosh! How can people be so irrational?

My English level
I started learning English quite soon, and the available means of communication have caused it to improve. Now, I speak English fluently, and I think it is good... actually... I don't know. But I think so.

Up until... maybe... late 2012, I would normally speak American English (or, you know, an American-ish accent), as that is the accent I've been taught. However, recently I've started to prefer British accents, and that's what I speak now. I've discovered this accent I speak now is something like Received Pronunciation (or, you know, Received-ish-Pronunciation-ish... OK, now I'm just making up words, aren't I? Now, honestly, not to boast myself, but I actually think that the way I speak English isn't really all too far from RP... Only an Englishman could confirm that for me, though...). I think this accent is pretty much the most correct English accent. At least, I would classify it as such... (No attitude of depreciation is intended toward other accents!)

Then, with British pronunciations, came British spellings. I'm now familiar with most differences between American and British spellings, and I use the British ones.

Why the change in accent? Well, I realised (See? British spelling! ) ) that there were these two main possibilities for accents, and that a British accent would be more correct than an American one. With the help of Wikipedia (Yes! Wikipedia helped me practise my accent!), and a lot of British media-r-exposure ''(See? British accent! ) )'', I've begun to perfect my accent. Plus, I've heard that American girls are... um... pretty much crazy about British accents! You know... I mean... Um... You know, right?... No, just kidding. I mean, yes, but truth is I've only discovered that later on, and that was surely not the main reason. I'm serious! I'm not lying! It just came afterwards, you know...

Grammatical preferences
It is virtually indisputable that some people can't speak proper English. And, unfortunately, there are many of those. If you spend two seconds on the Internet (outside Wikipedia, of course!), you'll realise there is no hope for Humanity! :) I'm not a native English speaker, and yet I speak and write in English much better than many people! I weep for Humanity when I see basic English rules not being followed.

Well, here are some of my opinions regarding English grammar. Take a look!

Look, if you have this terrible habit of not checking your spelling and grammar, I really urge you to do it. Pay attention to your writing. It only makes you look better. And it is much more pleasant to other people's eyes! :)

No, serious! I really prefer to read and listen to proper English. It just feels better. Please pay more attention in the future, when you write. Today, with the Internet, you can easily check the spelling of any word, as well as important grammatical rules. Not to mention that, if you are a native speaker, you should have learnt that in school! Please be more careful. Thanks!

My beliefs
I'm a Baptist Evangelical Christian. I believe that God is real, and that He loves us. I believe that Jesus Christ, being the Son of God, came to Earth and died for our redemption for our sins. He, who had never sinned, suffered as if He had. He bore the full wrath of God, His Father, which was due to us, because of all the sins we have committed, whilst nailed on a Roman cross, with thorns pierced on His brow. That was how much He suffered for us, before He rose again from the dead, conquering death, and allowing us to be saved from its power. Thus, anyone who believes in Him and who is willing to do His will and follow Him is allowed to go to Heaven". There, those who follow Him will live forever in an absolute paradise, forever worshipping God and living with Him. There could not be a better gift than this.

God has an unimaginable love for you. I have described what He did so that you could go to Heaven, and take part of His glory. It would be amazing! But you have sinned, which means you have been set apart from God's glory. The only reason you can actually go to Heaven is that Jesus died for you, and yet He rose again, conquering the power of death. If He hadn't, this would not be possible. The only way you can go to Heaven is if you repent from your sins, ask God for forgiveness, and surrender to Him, by being willing to follow Him in any circumstance, trust He will help you overcome any trouble. It may be tough, and troubles may come, but God will help you, and it will be the best thing that's ever happened to you!

If you're interested, pray to God, recognising you have sinned, and asking for His forgiveness. Search for an Evangelical Christian church in your area to help you with it, or to pose any questions you might have. If you want to accept God's call, just pray and He will not reject you. I repeat, it will be the best thing ever in your life!

I and Wikipedia
I became a Wikipedian in the beginning of September 2012.

I've always liked Wikipedia. I support the idea. I've used it a lot of times (although, until just a few years ago, I'd use its Portuguese counterpart). I've often been told that Wikipedia has mostly wrong stuff, because anyone can change it. People say that quite often... But I'm always ready to deal with people like that. You know, it's not uncommon that I carry a firearm in my pocket, one that is especially designed for this purpose... Just kidding, of course! I respect every opinion on Wikipedia. But I know that there are many people who try to prevent vandalism on Wikipedia. Normally, any illicit changes to Wikipedia won't stay for long, and any information can be checked, because every Wikipedia article should have a list of references which can be used to certify that the information presented there is accurate. Obviously, there is always this risk, but this also exists on almost any other website, doesn't it?

One time, someone actually vandalised my talk page. It's right here. It was the first time, and the only one as of now. I guess some people just don't have a life, am I right?

Oh! And if you choose to vandalise my talk page again, would you please update the counter on this userbox? Thanks! :)

What I like on Wikipedia
Wikipedia is an online encyclopaedia where you can easily obtain information about pretty much anything you want. It's easy to search and information can easily be verified through a list of references. Additionally, if you find a mistake, you can easily correct it. You can also improve it and provide information you know for other people. Wikipedia is very useful, and it has helped me a lot in the past. It's very good, and I have hardly anything against it.

What I don't like on Wikipedia
OK, here comes the part nearly every Wikipedia editor will hate me for writing... There is one thing I don't like about Wikipedia: Wikipedia is not censored. I'm totally against this policy. This means that, when you go to Wikipedia, you might come across inappropriate images or swear words. And I like neither of them. This means that, in its overall, Wikipedia is not "safe" for reading and viewing images. And I feel that's a shame. In my opinion, swear words and offensive text, as well as inappropriate pictures, should be forbidden on Wikipedia. But that's just my opinion, and it seems like no-one is interested in changing it. I think that's the only thing. However, don't count on me for writing swear words or for posting inappropriate pictures—anywhere, ever!

But I think that's the only thing. Apart from that Wikipedia is very good.

What I do on Wikipedia
I've been to start participating seriously in mid October 2012. For now, what I do is mostly watch pages of subjects I like, and do some edits, correcting something others have done wrong. I have also helped translating Wikipedia. I'm working on the project of reading an article. Sometimes I also talk to other wikipedians. I also report vandalism, when I find some that isn't corrected yet.

Translating
I'm thinking of starting translating Wikipedia quite often from Portuguese to English, which I've done twice (with the articles Air Transat Flight 236 and Moimenta-Alcafache train crash - this last one was built almost entirely by me). I was born and have been raised in Portugal, so Portuguese is my native language, and I'm fluent in it. I've started to learn English quite soon, and I'm very good at it, so I am able to make... say... medium-hard-level translations between these two languges.

Reading articles
I'm thinking about recording myself reading Wikipedia articles. In fact, I've done it. Yes! The article Pacific Southwest Airlines Flight 1771 has a spoken version recorded by me. Right now, I'm working on the article Sheldon Cooper, and I'm decideing which one to do next. You can hear my attempts to speak with Received Pronunciation!

Wikipediholism
I've recently come across this test to see how much of a Wikipediholic you are. I thought I could give it a try. It's very interesting and very funny. Really funny. I'm serious! I got a score of 4086, which showed me the comment "You are heavily addicted to Wikipedia and are showing symptoms of Wikipediholism". I was kind of worried, but the truth is I think I'm not that addicted... I think this test isn't really too accurate. But it's fun. It's worth to do it just for that!

I also got 2 points of Eliteness, with the comment "You are an elite Wikipediholic and a prime candidate for rollback rights". I honestly don't know what "rollback rights" are, but I suppose it's good, so let it be this way!

If you're willing to try... Well... Good luck! You may need it...

Talk to me
I would really appreciate someone would talk to me. I'm available to discuss any subjects, and time isn't really something I lack (though sometimes it is...). Please do it on my talk page and respecting the talk page guidelines.

Thank you.

Feel free to edit
My English isn't perfect, so if you see any mistake, please correct it by editing this page. Unlike many people, I like to be corrected. Even if you believe I've made a bad sentence construction, or something... It doesn't matter: feel free to edit. I will even thank you if you add templates based on the info I gave, that I still don't have. If I see you're committing vandalism, then we'll have other kind of problems. Until then, I'll be watching.