User:SimonLovesWhiteSpread

Bonsoir :coolclownsunglasses: My name is MouleagaufFre. You may recognise me from such youtube videos, as Youtube.com/xyesdkfoef where I make not one, but two appearances. Yes, it's me.

You may not know this, but over the past decade, I have been putting my knowledge of chemical engineering (which incidentally, I was born with), to good practise. I have been deeply involved with the spreading, of knowledge regarding white spready stuff and mayonnaise. Also known by those in the bizz, as white spread thing/ stuff. We actually are on the verge, of curing tuberculose, the ever present threat to our daily lives. Me and my team of sunsippers, have worked night and day, and discovered that the secret to eradicating the eternal threat, the everpresent menace that is tuberculose, is to take a daily shower, using white spread stuff.

You may question, but how is this possible? Mayonnaise is made from eggs! It is thick and thicc. Well don't you fret, as I was born an engineer, I came up with the perfect design, and had my sunsippers test it, until it was mayo-tight ;).

Take a balloon, this is how this starts. You fill said balloon, with the white spready thing. And then, place this over your head, and pierce many holes in it. Don't forget to press it aggressively to make sure you get every ounce of white spready thing out of the balloon, and over your head.

If you repeat this once a day, for 128 days, you will be cured from the curse that is tuberculose.

Now if that wasn't enough, I am also personally invested in the transmission of information regarding mayonnaise made from eggs. Yes, real eggs. We're not just talking white spready stuff, the real deal guys.

To complete your journey, I provide the recipe that my great grandmother passed down to me. I can only hope this brings you eggcellent days in your future.

Please gently take a jam jar in your hands. Daintily. Caressingly, dollop a generous spoonful of the finest mustard into said jar. Say a small prayer, and break and egg into the jar. Be careful with the shell. Sensually, drizzle some oil NOT onto your pecs, but into the jar. With a flourish and a wish, adorn your creation with some salt and pepper, always to your taste ;) Now my children, be prepared, for now comes the difficult part. Dig out that mixer that has been gathering dust, since last christmas, from your kitchen cupboard. Insert the blender into your beautifully hand crafted mixture. But take heed! Do not turn it on, until it has reached the bottom of the jar. Once you have hit rock bottom, then you may turn on your blender. Gently, with love, bring the blender up through the mixture and SEE BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES, YOUR MAUYONN

super

And now in my broken english, let see ... ... ... Emma's EGGNOG ! we have six egg yolks (yo yo yok yoks) ((very yoldishhh)). First of all beat up all of these yolkish yoks, then pour delicately 150/200 of a cup of sugary sugar and beat again because they like it. If there are not nice or not fluffy, scream "BACHIBOUZOUK" and restart from the first step. Merge agressively two whole cup of milk (or half of Emma's microphone stand) with cloves and a pinch (pretty much equivalent to 2/985 of the same Emma's microphone stand) of cinnamon (and not simon lololololol) all of this in a very thick-not-only-bottomed saucepan. Heat until you see the wee cute bubbles (not the big angry one), you should at this point see in front of your mesmerised eyes a small smoke strand (or steamy melange).

Here comes the most important part : Pour and unpour the thicky thick pan melange in the eggs (we would like to remind you the enthusiasm of eggs when they are beaten, please make them happy). Draw in the pan a monk with your spoon while heating gently, when the helmet print stays visible for 128 seconds, your dish is ready. BUT BE CAREFUL OMG don't let it boil or it will turn lumpy (and it will become hard to finish your drawing). Send your dear monk dive into a strainer. So now the most important part AGAIN (the real one this time), add vanilla and rhum... lot of rhum. And that's all, your favourite beverage is ready.