User:Siriachawiki114/Phamaly/Siriachawiki114 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

mmadrid12


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * 1. Dorwart Word Count: 132 a. Normalizing Disability   i.   Phamaly theatre contrasts other disability theatres because their aim is   producing traditional works while other theatre companies center disability in   their narratives. In its founding the theatre company did not focus on making   social commentary about disabilities and they continue to view their social   impact as a result that comes with their main goal, making theatre accessible.   Phamaly theatre's style is that of Bertolt Brecht which is described as   alientating the audience instead of alienating the actor and their disabilities.   The goal of the Brecht model is to make the audience think critically about   their presumptions about disabilities, Regular attendees of the Phamaly   Theatre Company claim that the performers' disabilities go to the back of their   minds as they watch performances until the script requires them to consider   the experience of inaccessibilty.   2. Barton-Farcas Word Count: 209   a. Making Theatre Accessible   i.   To make the audition process more accessible for neurodivergent people,   Phamaly Theatre Company provides detailed information about what to expect   at their facilities. This information is provided on their website and includes   pictures to give cast members a heads up about sensory information such as   what colors to expect. Further Phamaly Theatre's The Wiz makes the stage   more accessible by allowing the actor to explore creative liberty with their   disability such as using it as a metaphor, instead of labeling it as distracting for   the audience.   b. Normalizing disability   i.   In its founding, Phamaly Theatre Company's goal was to give actors the   chance to perform by incorporating the actors' disabilities into the design   process, where as traditionally, the disabilities were seen as limitations in   theatre. In many cases, certain aspects in the theatre's set designs add to the   story like The Wiz their rendition of The Wizard of Oz, where the characters do   not ask the Wizard to remove or heal their disabilities. Their rendition of The   Wizard of Oz also portrays the resilience that disabled people have, showing   the audience that the characters are confident. Even when certain aspects of a   performance cannot be included, such as a horse in Man of La Mancha,   audiences report accepting the disability of the actor.   3. Mc Rae- Aesthetics of Inclusion Word Count: 66   a. Making theatre accessible   Phamaly Theatre company provides various accommodations to its performers   in order to make theatre more accessible. The actors are offered these   accommodations from the get-go, as they are stated on casting calls.   b. Normalizing disability   i.   In an effort to normalize the disabled experience, Phamaly theatre company   incorporates an element of audience engagement after the show, aiming to   neutralize the discomfort some audience members may feel towards the   actors' disabilities.


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

I thought that the draft provided a detailed analysis of adaptions that Phamaly has made to make theatre more accessible for their actors and to challenge the audience's preconceptions of disability. There was a meaningful understanding of the elements of theater, including the use of Bertolt Brecht style which places the spotlight on the audience, and the re-working of traditional works to provide actors with creative liberty with their disability.

Here are my suggestions for the article draft:


 * 1) There is no "lead" in the draft. I would suggest to add one as stated Wikipedia's guidelines. Make sure the lead addresses all parts of the article. Also, the lead (and the article body) would benefit from an introduction to  Phamaly Theatre Company, including what it is and their values and mission.
 * 2) The sections seem to be organized by each source circling around a theme- "normalizing disability" and "making theatre accessible". I appreciated this aspect of the article, but I felt that the themes could be interwoven together instead, condensing it to two sections rather than four.
 * 3) The article is neutral to me. There could be a more specific comparative analysis of other theaters (historical and modern; conventional and disability) which could provide a contextually well-rounded view of Phamaly.
 * 4) The sources are provided by author name and the source title. I would suggest utilizing the cite tool provided by Wikipedia.
 * 5) In general, I think the draft is well written, but it needs to a couple of additions and revisions in order to provide a broader view of Phamaly Theatre Company for readers and to meet the Wikipedia's guidelines, such having a lead and citing sources.