User:Sitekm2972/Great Northern Expedition/Ssegtf Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Sitekm2972


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Sitekm2972/Great Northern Expedition
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Great Northern Expedition

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * The planning and preparation section is very sparse. I like the additions you proposed to beef up that section.
 * Using Steller's journal to provide some primary source insight is a good idea.
 * I think it could be insightful to add some details as to why Berings first expedition failed to achieve its goal.
 * The addition about the discovery of the native people and what the group left is interesting, good addition.
 * Maybe adding where they discovered the Aleut people could add some context to the discovery.
 * Changing the section heading "The academic component" to something that is more descriptive of the academic/science role in the expedition could help with clarity. Maybe putting the academic benefactors into a different section, like planning and prep, and having a section just on the academic/scientist participation in the expedition?
 * Some more info on Aleksei Chirikov could add some more context to what he did to help the expedition.
 * What does it mean that "The expedition was originally under the control of Bering" did leadership change?
 * Are there any sources that confirm the claim that the otter pelts were such high quality?
 * Neutrality is well kept in the addition to the article, good job.
 * The "Though aboard the St. Paul with Vitus Bering," phrase in the planning and prep section could be its own sentence, it is a little confusing with the rest of the sentence.
 * Solid sources, they look good.
 * Keep up the good work

Peer Review Response

 * We will add more details about the failure of the first expedition, I remember reading something about it when I was scanning one of our sources but I'll have to do some sleuthing to find it.
 * The Aleut People are from the Aleutian Islands, and the article about them is linked so adding more about where they are from would distract from the main points of the article
 * The source on Aleksei Chirikov has a lot more information so we will be sure to find more about his contributions.
 * The sentence The "Though aboard the St. Paul with Vitus Bering," is apart of the academic component section of the article that says all the academics were aboard a different ship in the journey, but Steller was not so this makes sense in the context of the article.


 * I also remember reading about the failed expedition so we will definitely in that again.
 * I agree that the heading could change from "The Academic Component" to something that could better reflect what the section is about or explain it in more simpler terms.
 * I will have to check on the otter pellets. I know they talk about it in Steller's journals, but I will find another source as well.
 * Thank you for your input!