User:Skam1279/Portal hypertension/Medstud15 Peer Review

General info
Skam1279
 * Whose work are you reviewing?

User:Skam1279/Portal hypertension Portal hypertension
 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead • I like the additions you made to the lead with the break down of portal pressure ranges and how they are classified. I think that adds more context for the reader. • There's only one citation in that section, though, so I recommend looking for a source (or using one you've already found) to cite a few more of those sentences. • One of the things I mentioned in the peer review form we had to submit for class is that this lead currently doesn't provide a brief summary for the other sections of the article, so I think that's something you could add, at least for the sections you are adding/updating.

• For instance, the sentence that starts with the hyperlink to the 'cirrhosis' article could be its own paragraph, and you can reword it to something along the lines of "The most common cause of portal hypertension is cirrhosis, but there are other causes, that are further classified by where they originate in relation to the liver—prehepatic, intrahepatic, or posthepatic. These are more generally classified as non-cirrhotic portal hypertension and they present differently than cirrhotic portal hypertension." You don't necessarily need to say that the pathophysiology is discussed below because by providing this brief summary, it tells the reader that the article will address these causes and how they manifest.

• I recommend adding a separate "paragraph" to provide a brief summary on complications. In your summary you could start off by mentioning the most common symptoms and then go into the complications.

• I would take the last sentence in the current lead that mentions treatment and create a new "paragraph" to summarize treatment. Definitely cite that sentence, and summarize the treatment approach/purpose of treatment.

Content

I know this is still a rough draft, but I think overall, the content you have in your draft so far is a good addition to the current. I don't know how many more changes you intend to make to the language, but the only thing I would recommend is to try to avoid medical jargon or briefly explain it in 2-3 words whenever it is absolutely necessary to use. For example, "vascular resistance" is intuitive to us because we hear it so much in medicine, but for the lay person they may not know what that means, so even changing that to "increase pressure in the venous system/veins" makes that more accessible to more readers. Same with "vasoconstrictor" and "vasodilator." Those are examples of words that because we hear them so often we know what they mean, and they become intuitive to us, but someone without any medical background/knowledge may not know what they mean.

Sources and References

The only thing I'll say here is to remember the wikipedia rule of citing at least every other sentence. Even if it's all coming from the same source, make sure to add a citation, but to that end, since you had 4 sources in your bibliography, try to cite other ones too.

I'll refrain from commenting on the organization because I get that this is still a rough draft, and may not reflect what you intend to add to the article, but I think you've got a great start of useful information to add to this article. :) Medstud15 (talk) 18:52, 10 November 2023 (UTC)