User:SkyyRincon/Coqualeetza Indian Hospital/UC Student Anon Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

SkyyRincon


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:SkyyRincon/Coqualeetza Indian Hospital - Wikipedia
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:SkyyRincon/Coqualeetza_Indian_Hospital?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Coqualeetza Indian Hospital - Wikipedia

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead

The lead has been updated accordingly and is relevant to the rest of the article, highlighting important features throughout the text. I think the first line of the lead is appropriate as an introductory sentence since it clearly describes the function of the hospital and relevance to natives. The major sections are pretty simple enough to fit into the lead as brief descriptions, but you could definitely touch on significance a little bit more if you wanted to. Although, I do not necessarily think including a brief sentence in your lead about the significance is that important since it is self -explanatory in a way. This section does a great job of not including extra information that is not discussed later in the article and is concise but not overly detailed. My only suggestion would be including the purpose of civilization of the residential school in this section very briefly.

Content

The content of the article is pretty solid. There is a lot of relevant information backed up by evidence and appears to be up to date. The content matches up with the lead and addresses underrepresented indigenous peoples that were sent to Coqualeetza. I think mentioning a few groups of specific indigenous people could be more beneficial to your article if you create a subtopic or something along the lines of that to include more of a cultural background and tribute to the men and women who attended this institution. I do see you mentioned the Stahlo people and linked information to them which is great, but perhaps you could also just include a brief summary of a specific group who were affected in some way by Coqualeetza. Of course, I think your article is already strong without adding this information so it is only a suggestion.

Tone and Balance

The overall tone remains neutral, and I sense no bias toward one group or another. I am a little uncertain about the use of words such as "civilize" and such (even in my own article) because I do feel that tends to be used in a negative connotation to refer to natives as being savages which could be interpreted as colonizers being the villain, leading to a bias position, but these are factual statements, so I am going to assume they are okay. I, myself, wanted to double check with the professor, but if you are comfortable with using such words and are not overthinking like I probably am, there remains a neutral stance towards both sides and there should be no problem.

Sources and References

Great job on finding so many great sources! There is a lot of evidence backing up your content. They are current to the era this took place in, relevant, and thorough. I tested out a few links and they work perfectly fine. I do see one has a date issue. I do not know how to fix that (since one or two of mine also shows this issue), but we should definitely figure that out! Of the sources I have checked out, they are secondary and reliable.

Organization

Every section is organized very well. The titles pertain accordingly to the content within each section and reflect the major points of the topic. I did not see any spelling or grammatical errors.

Concluding Comments

Overall, I think you have done an exceptional job! I do not see much that needed fixing. You know your article best, so read through it once more and see if you could improve it. Other than that, this is a great, informative article!