User:Slakr/Torch and Pitchfork Emporium

Welcome to Slakr's Torch and Pitchfork Emporium (TPE). We stock all sorts of equipment for specialty situations requiring immediate response on Wikipedia.

Locate-a-Mob&trade;
For no charge to our customers, we'll gladly bring you the latest angry mobs locations through our Locate-a-Mob&trade; service. With our patented Mob-O-Meter&trade; technology, we find the best hotspots and rank them the highest. At a glance:


 * Administrators' noticeboard/Incidents (Mob-O-Meter: very high )
 * Requests for arbitration (Mob-O-Meter: high )
 * Administrators' noticeboard (Mob-O-Meter: high )
 * Requests for comment (Mob-O-Meter: medium )
 * Requests for mediation (Mob-O-Meter: low – the T&PE recommends avoiding this and other rational venues at all costs)

For sales associates only

 * Make a sale