User:Slakr/Wikitheorems

Inverse speedy rationale
The length of is inversely proportional to the likelihood that the page will be speedily deleted.

Transference of conspiracy
The likelihood of being accused of being part of The Conspiracy&trade; is directly proportional to the amount of an article's text that covers either a conspiracy or controversy.

Conservation of deletion backlog
Attempts at reducing an administrative backlog that involves a deletion process tends to result in your talk page becoming backlogged instead.

Conservation of waves
Attempts by an editor at making waves or otherwise getting themselves noticed in a quick way (e.g., by nominating a popular template or policy for deletion) increases, by several orders of magnitude, the probabilities that the following destructive interference actions will occur:
 * They will be blocked
 * They will fail attempts at requests for adminship
 * Other editors will reflexively think they're wrong in future discussions
 * They will rage-quit