User:Slatercp/Social media in the fashion industry/MagicBrownMan Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

SlaterCP


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Slatercp/Social_media_in_the_fashion_industry?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Social media in the fashion industry

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: Whilst the lead of the article has not been updated I don't think that it needs to be with your current additions. Your additions flow seamlessly into the existing article and changing the lead seems almost futile. Maybe add a brief sentence or two about TikTok and it's impact following the sentences about Facebook and Twitter but other than that I don't think it's crucial.

Content: I think that your content serves as a solid addition to an already massive article. I have no doubt that this article will only continue to grow with time as social media's influence on all industry (including fashion) continues to increase. The four seasons of fashion changing to fifty-two is something that I never would have known prior to reading your contributions and I think that having a brief history of TikTok and an explanation of the platform as a whole is a brilliant way to advance your incoming points about it's effect to the industry.

Tone/Balance: I think that your tone and balance throughout your additions was fairly consistent and appropriate. There are one or two sections with minor things that (for me) felt slightly unprofessional or opinionating such as adding the word "alarming" at the end of your first sentence. Other than that I think that you did a marvelous job communicating your points in a professional and informative manner!

Sources and References: From what I see there are no sources or references in this sandbox draft whatsoever. I think that this is going to be the thing that you need to focus on the most moving forwards. There should be sources backing up the statistics such as the change in the number of fashion seasons or even Musical.ly (also this should be capitalized in the draft) being released in 2016. I would also suggest hyperlinking TikTok with it's corresponding Wiki page so that people can get to it if they would like to find more information on this particular platform that you provided.

Organization: I see nothing wrong with your organization thus far. Earlier I mentioned the need to capitalize the M in Musical.ly but other than that I think that your writing is phenomenal. It is clear and concise, it makes the points you aim for almost effortlessly, the information is easily digestible, and it is definitely all relevant content!

Images and Media: In your sandbox no images or media are shown but when I look at the article itself the TikTok logo is present next to it's section. I am unsure whether you added this or another Wikipedian but I think that it is definitely suitable. Other than that there isn't much media that you could add considering the lack of media throughout the article. If you think it's appropriate you could possibly go back and add some of the brand logos that are not present such as DvF, Charlotte Russe, Tommy Hilfiger, and Marc Jacobs.

Overall Impressions: Overall I think that you have done a wonderful job so far in your edits. The information is great and the TikTok section flows into the existing article wonderfully. Unfortunately I did not see the other section in the base article, it may have been removed for edits, but I do think that it was a nice addition to the article itself. Adding more media would definitely add some substance to the base article and I think you are more than on the right path to rounding out this article and making it the best that it can be!