User:Slick Beef

Slick Beef was born on April 1st 1928 on the banks of the River Mersey, the first of 74 children born to his mother, Noreen. Beef is credited with discovering several towns in Merseyside, including, but not limited to, Thatto Heath, Newton-Le-Willows, Port Sunlight, and Clock Face. Like Susan and Karl Kennedy of Neighbours, he has taken in many troubled youths and turned them into upstanding members of the community. These include footballers Gary Naysmith and Igor Biscan, musician Bradley from S Club 7, actor Alfonso Ribeiro and Cheshire's number one rap sensation, MC Dicko. Despite many rumours, Beef has never been to prison, and denies any association with the notorious Young Anfield Riot Squadron.

Beef can regularly seen in St Helens wearing a Purple Aki costume. In 2007 he moved to Runcorn to escape the persecution and mass-slaughter of Kenny Dalglish apologists in the West Wirral. In his spare time, Beef enjoys practicing contortion. He is said by many to have the most flexible body in all of Neston.

Beef's more minor achievements include ending the Korean War, starting the Falklands War, and inventing gravy.