User:SlipperySpinner/Television consumption/AquaticBanana Peer Review

NOTE FROM COURSE INSTRUCTOR:

I agree that the tone is an improvement from before. I'm a little confused at the moment if the additions are just in the statistics section or if the other portions on crime, obesity, etc. are also part of these additions. I appreciate that there are numbers here on streaming services, as this is an important site of "television." I am also in agreement that there could be some additional statistics on the COVID era, but and would add that there are some statistics in the earlier version - such as the number of households, a key index for things like Neilson ratings - should be updated in the new article rather than only deleted.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Slippery Spinner


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:SlipperySpinner/Television_consumption?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Television_consumption

Evaluate the drafted changes
You do an excellent job at balancing an engaging tone while delivering unbiased facts. Beyond that, I appreciate the conservation of the original article's spirit of delivering statistics.

I do think that you can incorporate more numbers. I like that you explain just how much the numbers have changed, but as someone who loves statistics, seeing some actual numbers would be highly informative. Remember not to dumb things down out of fear of the general audience not being able to understand. It is possible to present the facts without being pretentious. You have the right spirit, but seeing more detailed information on the matter would increase the credibility of the article. Especially because your section is literally called "statistics".

Additionally, I think you can explore the statistics in further detail. I like that, in general, you cover the bases of what the audience needs to know about television consumption, but I feel that I, as the audience, would like to know more. The original section talks about ads and how many minutes an average person would consume. Information similar to this would be greatly insightful. Moreover, this information can be separated and sorted into subcategories. For instance, you can talk about television consumption before COVID and post. You can even dive into how COVID affected television consumption and where people's attention has gone to (streaming services). I understand this may mean more research, but I strongly believe that the overall article would benefit from this.

Finally, I'd like to applaud your enthusiasm. The original article feels rushed and lazy. Yours has fresh breath of excitement and genuine passion in there. Looking forward to the next draft!