User:Smazzarella14/Ethnocentrism/Hannahcatesilver Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Sara Mazzarella: Ethnocentrism


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Ethnocentrism: Sara's edits
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ethnocentrism: OG article

Social Media Edits Review

 * Overall, everything you added to the article enhanced the original paragraph immensely, as there was hardly any information to begin with.
 * You do a good job describing a few positive and negatives of social media and sharing cultural experiences, as well as keeping a neutral tone, and adding relevant sources.
 * There were some phrases that felt purely filler and did not progress the information of the article. For example I would entirely remove the third sentence, "The outcome of social media usage produces positive and negative effects of ethnocentrism across all platforms."
 * I would suggest adding more specific examples of pros/cons of social media as long as it is within wiki guidelines.
 * Pro ex: Ukrainian refugees sharing their experiences and how it has impacted those not directly affected by war.
 * Con ex: Muslim person sharing their religious rituals and getting hate
 * below are some sentences I pulled that I feel need revision:
 * The most common social media platforms are known as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, YouTube, and Tiktok although these are the most popular."
 * suggestion for grammar/wording: "The most common and popular social media platforms are..."
 * "Social media tends to play a constructive role within a society in which it produces a positive outcome. Although, there tends to be positive and negative outcomes when it comes to ethnocentrism, in which it educates, guide, and entertain the public, and the bring more awareness towards other cultures and how each one is different from one another."
 * suggestion to be more concise: "social media tends to play a (positively) constructive role within a society in which it educates, guides/entertains the public, and brings more awareness towards other cultures by illustrating how each one is different from another."
 * "However, that exchange of information can be hindered by ethnocentrism because it can diminish the interest of interacting with people from other cultures."
 * suggestion for wording/removing passive tense: "Someone who is Ethnocentric may hinder the exchange of information by diminishing interest of interacting with people from other cultures."