User:Smichael263/Warragarra rock shelter/Fendragon57 Peer Review

General info
Smichael263 - Sam
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Smichael263/Warragarra rock shelter
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):New Article, not in Wiki main space yet.

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

This is a great start to making this new article! To start, I would suggest dividing your Lead, History of Research, and Archeological evidence sections by making them full on Headings, rather than just bold (this will add the line divider under each heading). This will make it look more like some pre-existing Wiki articles.

Also, I think the "archeological evidence of human evidence of changed landscape" section could just be called "Archeological Evidence."

Lead - This lead paragraph is concise which is good, but it does read as one long run-on sentence. Dividing it into multiple sentences might make it flow better. Also, you should add a source when you say the site is evidence fo Tasmanians adapting to climate change. Every time you mention Aboriginal peoples, the work Aboriginal should be capitalized.

Content:

History of Research - When you introduce Henry Lourandos (and later Rhys Jones) you should introduce the fact that they're archeologists and say when they did their research. Who are Porch and Allen (archeologists I assume, you should mention that). When was this site excavated? When you mention time periods, such as 9,000 years ago, you could add mention of whether those times fall within the Pleistocene or Holocene.

Archeological Evidence - The first part of this section does a good job of explaining the changing use of the shelter. As soon as you start talking about fish you should probably start a new paragraph.

For the following section that I've copy pasted below, I'm not sure that it follows Wikipedias neutrality guidelines, and might be a little bit biased."With this new warmer climate aboriginal Tasmanians had moved inland to take advantage of new economic opportunities. Because of this and the work of many archaeologists Warragarra rockshelter is a significant part in the debate for why aboriginal Tasmanians stopped eating fish. This debate started when Rhys Jones stated life on insular Tasmania 'caused a slow strangulation of the mind'. Claiming that aboriginal Tasmanians grew dumb and stopped eating fish. This theory not only false, is quite racist, and there is much evidence to show that the reason that fish eating became less popular is because of expanding economic opportunities inland."The claim that the theory is false and racist, while true, is quite a strong take for Wikipedia to have, so I would suggest changing it to say that some scholars have criticized Jones' work, describing his theory as racist. You could expand a little more about this controversy if you wanted to add more - it would be a good place to add more sources. Also, I'm unsure if we're actually allowed to quote the papers or not, you might want to paraphrase or double check the Wikipedia guidelines (pretty sure there's a training that goes over this).

Sources:

This is slightly nitpicking, but if your citation is at the end of the sentence, the period should go before the in-text citation, (this is different than writing an academic essay).

Also, I believe the requirements for this assignment say we have to have at least five different sources. Currently you just have four, so if you can find another one, maybe one more about climatic variation impacting the site, that would be good. For my article I looked at the references on one of the longer papers I read to find additional sources, so maybe you could look at the references in the Lourandos paper for more sources. Adding more sources will also help support it being notable to Wikipedia.

Overview:

Overall this is a great article to add to Wikipedia because of the archeological significance to Tasmania and how it tells us about the history there. Breaking up your paragraphs and sentences so that they don't run-on and adjusting some of the language to be more neutral are the biggest things that could be improved. Also, to make it more 'discoverable' you could link to other articles - ex: Wiki articles on Tasmania, Aboriginals, Rhys Jones, & Henry Lourandos.

As you're improving I'd suggest looking at similar articles to see how to improve organization, for example I've been looking at the Madjedbebe article to see how to link to other articles and for layout and flow.

Good job and good luck! - Ali