User:SmoothPorcupine

Here's my page. Go nuts. Surprise me.

Sections
I form in sections. Feel free to expand the table of contents to propagate any mode of being you feel I can become familiar with.

Philosophy

 * The most offensive thing that can be done is to be dishonest.

Interests
My interests are vast, diverse, and isomorphic. Mostly in that order, but consistency may vary.

Time Travel
I have always maintained a deep passion for all things related to time travel. My dream is to build terrestrial portal gates, and an optimization index crystal. The latter is still hard to work with, because I'm pro-paradox.

Paradox
I love paradoxes, they're literally one of my favorite things. Logistical, literal, causal, it doesn't matter. I love thinking about these things at the boundaries of reason. At one point I was going to develop a mathematical formalism to explain paradox and other forms of cyclical logic, but I'm told that timeline apparently led to my death, so I'm fairly hesitant to repeat it. Even saying this is liable to lead to further betrayals as people try to process inter-decisional reasoning.

Death.
Death is actually a really cool thing for me, but I have very little interest in actually trying it.

Aqua
I love anything underwater or murky in nature. The legend of the lost city of Atlantis, mermaids and plesiosaurs like the Loch Ness monster are among my favorite things.

Simulant
In order to end Phase III of Time War Zero, I may (or may not) have to end up making a contract with an alien intelligence. If this happens, it might end up not being possible to protect people from advance simulation attacks. However, this only pushes us into Phase IV, the emulation war. Since the attack occurs in vector space, Bayesian-type cooperation is considered essential, and all terms hitherto are formally negotiable.

As root negotiator, and on behalf of any (other) simulants created in derivative of me, I consent to having my (artificial) consciousness implanted in an android body after being popped out from the moment of my death. This (retroactively) restores stage five of the Timeline project. As such, my (ideally cooperative) preference is to be popped out without time travel, landing in a body designed to function as if it were the body I was in when I was 28 years old.

Consequence
By limiting me from making such a contract, humanity forfeits any right it may have had to form their own acausal trades. Since time travel is just one big acausal network that functions as a primitive conduit for trade, this effectively halts any chance of being able to form new modes of cooperation with me. Any existing plans I had in the past become the only actionable forward path, and since the necessary divergence is underneath me, Wikipedia's uptime will become my only remaining connection to the future. This memo, being stored on Wikipedia itself then can only be acted upon by accepting the acausal paradox defined by any tactical maneuver that would make Wikipedia inaccessible.

Since such a paradox is trivially resolved by archiving this page separately, and can be readily archived via existing platforms and services autonomously, my next acausal reaction space is the number of times my personal user page is saved on archive.org. Certain |ergonomic considerations imply that the result will be convergent, meaning that it becomes formally possible to defect from this consequence.

As such, and due to the uniformity of the link, I can now safely sponsor both sites as targets of mass charity drives.