User:Somepueblojerky

It all started.... when I was born. *sigh* I suppose it started this way for most of the general population; however, I was a special case. You see, I am an alien who was transplanted into my surrogate mother's stomach by a process called "mexocliation". I was then raised by the woodchucks that inhabit the forests of Mother Russia (all hail). I ran away from the woodchucks when I was 12, and was picked up by a traveling group of Russian ninjas. I was then educated in the ways of the ninja, and am now certified to perform many complicated ninja-related tasks. My ninja family left me in the Sahara Desert, where I would have died had I not been picked up by some American explorers in search of the famed Catarac opal mines that disappeared in 1957. I moved with them to Salem, Oregon with them and was instilled with their obsession with finding the mines. I was then 16. I have since been on many expeditions in search of the mines, so far with no success. I went to college for psychiatry, with a major in schizophrenia. I now work with mentally deranged Chihuahuas, and the occasional West Highland Terrier. I have no children and am single.

Was this all completely made up just because I was bored? Probably.

Do you wish it was true? Hell Yes!