User:Soniakilcoyne/Kintsugi/Amir Rafeh Peer Review

General info
User: Soniakilcoyne
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Soniakilcoyne/Kintsugi
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Kintsugi

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Today, I'll be looking at Soniakilcoyne's article draft that is in relation to Kintsugi, which is the repair and mending of pottery using powered Lacquer and other materials such as gold or silver.


 * 1) How can the content added be improved?
 * 2) Although much of the draft is relevant and well organized, i felt the first three sentences could have been summed up into one, where the specifics wasn't too necessary. Such as the statistics, or the specific mental health effects, but I do think the inclusion of the "Kintsugi Mind" is important to incorporate.
 * 3) What are the strengths of the content added?
 * 4) There's plenty of strengths the article draft incorporates, such as introduction of another topic the article does not cover, such as "Kintsugi Mind" which incorporates psychology with the reconstruction of pottery. Another strength is the grammar and language used in the draft where it expresses the point well.
 * 5) Does the article include images that enhance understanding of the topic?
 * 6) The article draft does not include images which would have been a nice touch. Would the use "Kintsugi Mind" make the pottery look any different compared to the normal ritual? Or is there different material that has been used compared to the ones already mentioned
 * 7) Check a few links. Do they work?
 * 8) The article draft has a single link and although it does work, still needs to be formatted in citation form where the paragraph must include in text citations, such as the paragraph above question 1, to make it seem more reliable and consistent when moving it over to the actual article.