User:Sopwarner/Imamzadeh Yahya/Secrettoaster Peer Review

General info
(Samantha.yahner282/Sopwarner)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Sopwarner/Imamzadeh_Yahya?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Imamzadeh Yahya

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Lead: I like the updated information in the Lead, thought I am a bit confused about what exactly you mean. Is the courtyard no longer there, or has it just been neglected? If its gone, maybe consider changing the original wording of the Lead to be in past tense. Sounds like you have interesting information to add about this subject. Your information will really help enhance the article.

Content:


 * The Geography: Good descriptions of the surrounding area, as well as the history. I think you add good information, though you may consider removing sentences that don't add to the specifics of the article. The line at the end of the first paragraph "The identity of cities depends on the three human, natural and artificial factors." while profound and a good point, doesn't seem too relevant to the subject at hand. The second paragraph contains similar platitudes on the subject of cities and neighborhoods, which you might think of removing or adapting to fit the subject better. Besides that, I really enjoy your walkthrough of the area, it was very thorough and gave me a sense of what it actually looks like, more than the original article did.
 * Looting: Nice addition of statistics in crimes around the area as a prelude to the main body of the article. The first line is a bit vague, what are the "anomalies" you are writing about? Also, maybe consider condensing your crime statistics into less sentences, so that you don't take away from the main point of looting from the tomb. I think your additions are a great strength to this section and will really help it as you edit it more.

Tone: I see the tone you are going for is the personal, human side of the tomb and its surroundings.

Organization: Good organization so far, I think your edits are in the correct place to add information.

References: Sources look good, and I like how you organized your Bibliography to show explanations and excerpts for later usage. Also I see your note about your citations, hopefully they can fix your issues soon!

Overall: A good work in progress with a clear effort for research. You are on the right track, just remember to keep everything relevant to your subject. I think you're gonna have a very meaningful article by the end.)