User:SpaceCanyon/Wadjet/HammyJammies Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

SpaceCanyon


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:SpaceCanyon/Wadjet


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Wadjet

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

1. The Lead Section

The lead is very detailed and previews sections included in the article. The lead also seems a tiny bit too long, yet includes some information that is either really important or not in the section.

2. Clarity of Article Structure

The organization of the draft is clear with the switch of the Protector and Etymology sections. There could be some editing/rewording of some of the sentences, to prevent them from being super long.

3. Coverage Balance

Overall, the main sections go into depth on Wadjet, and her role in ancient Egypt. There is definitely more information added in the draft that well improve the main article.

The caption for the image of Wadjet in Nefertari's tomb could be a tiny bit more descriptive. Maybe adding "Wadjet depicted above Anubis (jackal-like?) in the Tomb of Nefertari," so the reader could know where Wadjet is in relation to the picture unless it could be cropped. Or swapping the picture out for a clearer view of Wadjet in the gallery section.

4. Content Neutrality

This article is written with a neutral tone.

5. Sources

There are a variety of sources cited including academic journals, books, and websites. Maybe look and see if some of your newer sources include information already cited in the article, that could replace some of the older citations.