User:SpamwiseFamgee/Primary succession/Ahm248 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

SpamwiseFamgee


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:SpamwiseFamgee/Primary succession
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Primary succession

Evaluate the drafted changes
This article was a great expansion on what was already written and provided many case studies. This was helpful for my understanding of the topic and helped illustrate the different facets of primary succession. The most major change that I would propose is to move the Grand Bend case study to the examples section. In the lead, after the first two paragraphs, would be the perfect place to illustrate the general pathway of primary succession (including definitions for pioneer and climax species within the context of k and r species). You could even insert a diagram that shows this pathway. In general the content was presented neutrally, but I would steer clear from phrases like “this is important…” or “importantly.” These kinds of phrases appear throughout your additions and make the content appear more biased than it actually is. Many of the sources are older (from 1974, 1993, 2003, etc.). I would be slightly wary of this. See if you can include any current studies or research on the topic. I would suggest that you include some before and after photos for the case studies. In therms of your sentences, I would suggest reading them out loud. There were some places where I thought commas were missing or the sentences got a little unwieldy. In terms of more specific changes, I would make it more clear that primary succession occurs after disturbances when all that is left is a mineral substrate, whereas secondary succession starts when some organics/soil are left behind. From the lead and Grand Bend sections, it sounded like you were saying that primary succession triggers secondary succession. I would refrain from calling fires, floods, etc. smaller disturbances and opt for “lower intensity.” I would also avoid calling primary succession a series of “random events.” Overall, great job.