User:Spencerladner/Legacy pollution/Andrewglouchkow Peer Review

General info
spencerladner
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:Legacy pollution
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Legacy_pollution&action=history

Evaluate the drafted changes
Clarity - It is clear what the article is attempting to discuss, but there are a number of sentences where grammar needs to be changed, run on sentences and need for punctuation marks, primarily commas. Take this sentence for example "These chemicals often have outsized impact in countries jurisdictions with little or no environmental monitoring or regulation—because the chemical were often produced in new jurisdictions after they were banned in more heavily regulated jurisdictions". The sentence is difficult to decipher what is being stated. The sentence is a run on sentence and could be broken up into two sentences. The use of punction and changes in some of the words could be used to make it more understandable. There are a number of sentences in the article that are similar in their lack of clarity and a thorough read over and re-writing of these sentences would greatly improve the clarity of the article.

Structure - The structure of the article is relatively cohesive. The introduction does a good job at stating what legacy pollutants are and the following sections provide examples of the primary forms of legacy pollutants. The sections 'mine tailings' and 'abandoned mines' could in my opinion be under one section title, or have 'mine tailings' as a sub section for the 'abandoned mines' section. All sections could be subsections of the 'brownfields' section as they are examples of brownfield sites.

Balanced Coverage - Reading the article, it appears to provide a balanced coverage, but there are definitely sections that could be added to the article to improve its inclusivity. One section for example could look at the legacy pollution caused by the decommissioning of coal energy producing plants. This is especially relevant as the use of coal as a form of energy production is declining rapidly. Sections could be added on the pollutants that are most prevalent and harmful.

Neutrality - The article provides information on legacy pollution and does not appear to be biased in its opinions on any of the forms of legacy pollution discussed in the article.

Sources - There are a number of sentences in the article where facts are stated without supporting references. The first sentence of the article is one of these sentences. There are quite a few sources used, considering the overall length of the article.

Suggestions - My main suggestion for improving the article would be to read the article out loud and listen to how it sounds. The many sentences that don't make sense or just don't sound right, draws away from the overall content of the article.