User:SquerritMan

squerrit
First of all, one must realize that squerrits, however farfetched they may seem, are indeed real. This creature is the genetic combination of a squirrel and ferret, which is made possible by similar skeletal structures and craniofacial features. Such an animal is surprisingly common, but only in very open fields where grass grows exceptionally tall and thin. Although it could easily be mistaken as either squirrel or ferret, it can be distinguished by its unique actions. It has a severe habit of performing sexually stimulating acts on wildlife (such as trees), such as "humping," and reaching high running speeds before colliding with solid objects. Although they live on their own, certain varieties in the Great Plains of America can sometimes be seen arranged in a mountain like colony, with each member of the colony in a trance-like sleep. Studies have shown that they do this for warmth and energy preservation after large meals, so that their bodies have enough energy to fully absorb nutrients from their prey. Speaking of which, they prey of remarkably larger prey. Many land and sea creatures that have fallen victim to this wild animal's wrath are elk, wildebeasts, meerkats, shallow water fish, possums, sperm whales, water buffalo, and the classic prairie dog. Most recently, animal caretakers have tried to domesticate these beasts of nature, but to no avail. All such efforts have resulted in skeletal bruising and deep lacerations. Researchers are working very hard to understand them, and medical advantages of squerrit saliva are rapidly being discovered.