User:Squidgerine/Evaluate an Article

Which article are you evaluating?
Octopus aquaculture

Why you have chosen this article to evaluate?
I wanted to review an article related to invertebrates, and the role of octopi in aquaculture piqued my interest. I'm not sure if this evaluation will be seen outside of my sandbox, so I'll also mention that this is part of an assignment I have to do.

Evaluate the article
The lead section of the article gives a nice overview of the topic that summarizes everything on the page in a concise manner. The only sentence that wasn't very informative was this one: "The common octopus seems particularly suitable for aquaculture". While the reason for this is explained in the Species section, it wouldn't hurt to briefly mention it in the lead section.

While my knowledge on aquaculture is very small, it looks like the contents of the article are all relevant and contribute greatly to the topic. The article's content also isn't written in a way that appears biased. The only notable issue I have with the content is this sentence: "Current rearing techniques are inadequate, resulting in very high mortality rates", where it would have been useful to briefly mention an example of the current rearing techniques of octopus.

There are a few instances of poor citing in this article where information is given without any kind of citation. For example, take this sentence: "A cost analysis of this practice found that over 40% of total costs went into acquiring the juveniles". What cost analysis or study found this information? Another instance is directly quoting a fact instead of reworking the information into an original sentence.

The article has a few grammatical errors (such as missing a comma in this sentence fragment: "Crustaceans, such as crabs and lobster are..."), and some sentences are short and choppy. There are many instances in this article where the flow of the article would be improved by combining one or more sentences together. The breakdown of the sections is overall decent, however I personally think the "Juveniles" and "Paralarva" sections could be condensed into just one.

The images included are relevant to the topic. The only recommendation I have for this article is to look for an image of a fishery that actually raises octopus, and maybe add a section discussing the types of aquaculture environments octopus are typically raised in (for example, is the most popular method of raising octopus a net pen setup?)

I'm not very familiar with talk pages, but it seems other people have already noted that this article needs some revisions, which I completely agree with. Aside from the occasional unsourced information, this article's main issue is its choppy tone, which should be a relatively easy fix.