User:Squirrelology6

Religion: undefined== Squirrelology ==

'Holy Scriptures'

-Everyone must worship the squirrel, for he is the highest life form.

-The squirrel once came from a distant planet called "the Sun" and whenever you worship a squirrel you must give us money.

-If you kill a squirrel on the road, send us money to make up for itslife or the squirrels will eat your soul.

-For every Squirrel killed, you owe us $5000.

Blessings

-If you see a squirrel outside, you must chase after it until it runs up a tree, at which point you must plant snap dragons(a type of flower)around the tree, and bow to the squirrel and ask for its blessing, and then you must send us $1000, at which point you will recieve an official squirrel blessing.

- The blessing will include a stamp and everything, and an official paw print of the ultimate squirrel.

Other Rules

-And thou shalt feed upong the flesh of the possum for it is the food of Squirrelology.

-The squirrels and possums have been enthralled in a centuries long was over the control of the universe

- The squirrels are currently winning, but they might lose if you do not send us money

- So send us money

- NOW!

-Those who eat squirrels are damned forever.

-unless, they send us money

 Squirrel Church

-All members must attend church every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons.

-Anyone that fails to come will owe us $1500 per each day missed.

- Anyone who burns our churches will burn in hell unless they rebuild it to be 10 times awesomer

Ultimate Member of Squirrelology

- And all members will worship Xena, cuz shes cool beans and doesn't eat squirrels, and pays us money.

- She kicks ass to0

- She will kick yours if you do not send us money, so send us money -yes she'll spear you... SMOKE! and kick you in the face

Squirrelology in a brief

- Squirrelology is used to increase freedom, intelligence, and ability and to produce more squirrels to take over the world.

Jivvvvvvannnnnon Hosnackkkack, Mimachen Espachen