User:Star457/Quaker Instant Oatmeal/James8854clerk Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Star457


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Star457/Quaker_Instant_Oatmeal?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Overall, the article looks to be in pretty good shape so far. However, it looks like the article is still missing a lead, which should introduce Quaker Instant oatmeal itself (not just the company). The lead could essentially summarize all of the sections that are currently in the article in a few sentences and I believe that would suffice. The content of the article does seem to all be relevant and up to date. However, it does seem as though there might be some issues with tone in the article. Namely, there are sections that might be interpreted as promoting a brand due to the way language is used around the product- for example, saying they are 'quick and easy to make'.' Part of this might come from that many of the sources used are from the production company itself. Something that might be a good addition is information from the FDA around quaker oats, which might be a good external source which only informs and does not promote. The article might also benefit from an image of quaker oats, if there is one which adheres to copyright guidelines. The article is easy to read and adheres to Wikipedia's requirements for writing style. However, some of the writing in the 'preparation' section should stay closer to an encyclopedic format than a instruction format, for example, 'To employ this method, pour the contents of the instant oatmeal packet into a microwave-safe bowl.'