User:Starmiffy/Zhang Hanying/Ok4ytqum Peer Review

General info
(provide username): Starmiffy
 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Peer Review:
 * Link to draft you're reviewing: User:Starmiffy/Zhang Hanying:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Lead: The article does not appear to have a lead section. It would be helpful to readers if the lead section gave a brief overview of Zhang Hanying's work.

Content: The content of the article is useful in providing information about Zhang Hanying's involvement in the Chinese suffrage movement and highlighting her role in Chinese feminism. I do believe that this article meets Wikipedia's equity gaps as it features a female figure that was part of the first Chinese organized suffrage movement. The content all appears to be relevant to the article topic although I do think it would be beneficial to expand on Zhang Hanying's work outside of the Women's Suffrage Movement (if there is relevant information in your research). It would also be beneficial to add more information about her personal life, her work outside of the Chinese suffrage movement, and other information for a more well-rounded article.

Tone and Balance: The article appears to maintain a fairly neutral perspective and tone, however a few sentences in her early life section appear to convey opinions. "Zhang's early life certainly impacted her developed willful personality." This sentence reads more like an opinion than just simply presenting facts. Revising it would present a more neutral, unbiased tone. I also think that revising and re-read your article could be useful as you repeat yourself a couple of times and there are phrases that do no coney concise, straightforward, factual information.

Sources and References: I was only able to access one of the sources listed (the second listed reference). References 3-11 do not have a link to the source, so I could not verify whether the content of the article accurately reflects the sources. The second reference appears to mention what was stated in the draft, it talks about Zhang Hanying's participation in the Shimoda school. Fixing the source links is important because it helps readers verify your information and they can utilize your sources for further research. Properly linking your sources also adds more reliability to your work.

Organization: The article is not very easy to follow and read. I do think that adding a lead section would make the article easier to understand and would help with organization. I think that the article would also be more concise and have a better flow if you revised it by editing the tenses (there are a couple of past tenses that then switch to present tense) as this could confuse readers. A couple of sections are confusing because the sentence structure is not very organized.

For new articles only, Notability: Since I cannot access the linked sources, I can't conclude whether or not the secondary sources accurately represent the subject of your article. You could also improve your article by hyperlinking relevant existing Wikipedia articles that relate to Zhang Hanying (such as Women's Suffrage Alliance)

Overall Impressions: Overall I think this article was informative and showcased new information about an important figure in Chinese feminism. I think that the creation of this Wikipedia article is beneficial for the study of feminism and Chinese history and could be used for further research. It is a relevant topic and I am excited to read your finished article after revisions! Good job!

Evaluate the drafted changes
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