User:Starryoung/Burkholderia pseudomallei/FeyUnlocked Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Starryoung


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Starryoung/Burkholderia_pseudomallei?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Burkholderia pseudomallei

Evaluate the drafted changes
The new content within the lead section seems to fit, but also feels awkward in terms of transition from location of the microbe to its ability to survive within water for a long period of time.

I recommend moving the sentence " most commonly the livestock such as goats, pigs, and sheep. It happens less frequently in other animals, but is possible for them to get infected" to the Pathology section of the main article, as what the microbe infects fits closer within that section compared to the pathology section. If this sentence must stay within the lead section, make sure to expand on this information within the pathology section for a more complete compilation of information.

The sentence "in the laboratory, but rarely happens naturally" needs a resource for citation unless the main article has a citation already mentioning the rarity of infecting plants.

The resources used for citations all seem to be fairly reliable as well as current/relevant, though it is important to be using articles that are secondary (i.e. discusses the results from a study and is not the original study itself.)

If possible, add a citation for the table regarding the physical characteristics of the microbe.

The section "there was a study where burkholderia pseudomallei was sustained" feels awkward and should be rewritten to name the study, or those that led the study. ex. "A study performed by _____ demonstrated […]" The writing is neutral, so there is no issue regarding tone.