User:Starwarsfan6/Ontogeny/Mitra002 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Star wars fan 6


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Starwarsfan6/Ontogeny?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ontogeny
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ontogeny

Evaluate the drafted changes
First paragraph labeled "Introduction" is not clear. The term ontogeny does not appear in it - and the wording is a bit confusing. There is a hanging list at the bottom of the introduction section, was this notes or the start of a dropped sentence? The Etymology section looks good. History section has great information, but may not be accessible to anyone outside the immediate community studying ontogeny. I would recommend reading through it aloud to make sure that all wording and sentences are structured clearly. Developmental Stages section appears to be unfinished which is fine because just need a little draft!

great job and keep it up!!

Response: Thanks for the feedback. That sentence at the end of the introduction is what I added to the last paragraph of the article. Also I like your suggestion with the history section, that's very helpful and I can see that it doesn't quite connect with ontogeny at first and expanding it would be beneficial for the article. In addition, I agree with how the introduction section needs some help and that's confusing. I'm going to try and rework it to make more sense, since I only added a small section to it.