User:Steamlunch/NUFN

No Use For Nickels is an Canadian organization which is dedicated to the removal of the nickel. The NUFN was founded in 2005.

History
The NUFN was founded by two Ottawans shortly after one of them dreamt that nickels are bad. The dream was recounted to the other founder and within a few days, the NUFN was founded. The organization started off with just a few members (about 12) but quickly expanded. As of November 5, 2009, the NUFN boasts over 200 members from across Canada.

Shortly after its founding, the NUFN launched its website, which has become the main method of communication between the NUFN's leadership and its members.

The NUFN's Basic Claims
The NUFN claims that nickels are made of a highly televisionactive element called "nicklonium", sometimes spelt "nicklodium", which they claim should be located in  group 19, the unimpressive gases (beside the noble gases) on the periodic table.

The NUFN insists that the only way to "neutralize" the harmful effects of nickel use is by using mustard. In fact, the NUFN recommends that all public places have mustard handy in case of a nickel-related emergency.

According to the NUFN, some side effects of nickel use include:
 * Burning
 * Smoking (in your pocket)
 * Television begins to randomly change channels
 * Nickel addiction
 * Sadness
 * Happiness (not consistent in nature)
 * Car-related hallucinations
 * Loss of balance
 * Regaining balance
 * Slow Internet connection
 * Very fast Internet connection (but inconsistent)
 * Experiencing reality backwards

Some have claimed that these side-effects are too vague, but the NUFN insists these side effects are accurate.

Slogan
The NUFN slogan is "Stay alive, ditch the five." It was chosen by NUFN members during the summer of 2007.

New, Fresh, but Safe Day
New, Fresh, but Safe Day is an annual event held by the NUFN for its members. During this day, they celebrate the new, fresh, and safe things all around them.

Contests
The NUFN holds contests for its members. Some contests have included the "Bee Movie" Contest, and the Slogan Contest.

Procedures
The NUFN offers many procedures. In the official documentation, they explain how to react in different situations involving the nickel. An example of one of these procedures: “What to do if you find a nickel”.

The Strike System
In the past, after a member of the NUFN did something contrary to the organization's fundamental rules, they received a strike. After a certain number of strikes had been obtained by any one member, they were removed from the NUFN. Though, they were permitted to reapply. The record for the most strikes obtained by one member before removal from the organization is 123.

Progress
Desjardins, an integrated co-operative financial group, released a report which states that Canada should get rid of the penny, the nickel, and the five dollar bill.