User:Stephaniegajdjis/sandbox

Article Evaluation Drama:

Is everything relevant? The summary is long but accurate, that and the introduction contains all key points relevant to the plot

Is anything distracting? No, the article itself isn't very long and the information is relevant.

is any information out of date? The section about controversy surrounding the novel, there might be more recent controversy surrounding the novel that can be added (last cited one was in 2014).

What could be added? The introduction of the article mentions how the novel explores themes of friendship and teamwork but does not mention discovering sexuality and homosexuality, which is a very prevalent theme throughout the novel.

What else could be improved? There is a whole paragraph on hegemonic masculinity but the main focus of the novel was Callie, no mention of the portrayal of female stereotypes. In the character description they mention that Jesse and West share a kiss but nothing about Justin being gay. One subtitle is "Queer Identity and Coming Out" but queer is not an appropriate word label anymore, the proper word for people who identify as queer is "questioning".

Article Evaluation: Mexican American Studies Department Programs, Tuscon Unified School District

What else could be added?

In the demographics section, there were many statistics on the demographics of Tuscon High Magnet School that Acosta speaks of in his article. I can add these statistics to the demographics section as there is only one statistic about the school district there now and the section is very lacking.

What else could be improved?

In the section about the curriculum, some pain points of the Acosta article were excluded. I can add how Acosta describes Chicano and Raza, because Raza Studies is also a key element of the MAS curriculum and was not mentioned. His article has already been cited in this paragraph on curriculum so I can add this quote and re-use the relevant citation.

Is everything relevant? Yes, the information already there is relevant to the MAS program and how it was developed at Tuscon Unified School District.

Article Evaluation: Precious Knowledge

Is any information out of date?

Yes, in the beginning the intro states that the MAS program in the Tuscon school district that was the central plot of the documentary was banned, which was true but the law has since been repealed.

What else could be added?

Maybe some more clear information on the legality of the MAS program, although the program had to be removed later on when the bill was repealed sections of the MAS program were added back into the school.

What can be improved?

There is room for a lot of improvement in this article, the entire section on "after the film" can be improved (needs to be simplified)

The grammar in general can be improved

The plot section about the film is way too long and detailed, it needs to be shortened.

Is everything relevant?

yes, every sub-section mentioned is relevant to the documentary

Article Evaluation: A Wrinkle in Time (novel)

What does the article have/cover that is mentioned in the handout? Many of the structures on the handout are included in this wikipedia article. There is a very brief lead section stating what A Wrinkle in Time is, and also a section on background of the novel before it delves into the plot synopsis. The plot synopsis is a little long, however it covers the general plot of the novel without including too many explicit details. I think the summary could perhaps be cut down, but only slightly as the progression through the novel is complicated.

The article also has a section on characters, including a detailed description of the 6 main characters. Some of the irrelevant characters to the plot are listed under sub-characters, which could potentially be deleted (such as describing Mrs. Buncombe, who is never introduced in the novel and comes up in name only in the first chapter.

Sections on Reception and Adaption (to film) are also included, but I think the order of the sections should be re-done because it isn't logical. For example, the plot summary is followed by Major themes and then Reception of the book, and then it goes back to sections on characters and locations in the novel. i think the order should be:

summary

characters

locations

themes

reception

adaptation

What is missing and could be added to the article? In the section on reception, there is only a brief two line acknowledgement that A Wrinkle in Time was on a list of banned books. I think more analysis should be included on how it was banned in the 1990s and why, what was the impact of the books ideas. Also lacking more detailed information on the publication

find one source using a database.

Madeleine L'Engle from the Encyclopedia of Religious and Spiritual Development

https://search.credoreference.com/content/entry/sagersd/l_engle_madeleine/0

Talks about her Christian background and how this plays a role in her written pieces, and what her Christian social justice goals are. (useful in section on major themes, first paragraph where it talks about the author and her religion).

Article Evaluation: Persepolis

What does the article have/cover that is mentioned in the handout? Might be too much information in one article because both novels a

There is a lead intro section, a background section before the plot summaries, and sections on publication, genre/style, characters, reception and film. However, I think the character section should come right after the plot summaries as the order of the sections does not make a lot of sense. I think the order should be:

summary

characters- It is confusing which characters are in the first novel and which are in the second, or do you only include characters that are in both? it's confusing. The character list also has excessive descriptions for characters that may not be relevant, their descriptions need to be shortened if they are kept on the list.

genre/style

publication

reception

film

Persepolis 2.0

What is missing and could be added to the article? The introduction has information on publication in different languages, this should be put in the publication section instead. There also is information about the film in the introduction that probably should be taken out of the introduction and put into the film section.

- Quotes taken directly from the novel in the plot summaries need citations.

- Random quotes around specific words? Sections that should be paraphrased instead

Is everything relevant? The summary for Persepolis 2: The Story of A Return is way too long and detailed and not everything is relevant. It needs to be shortened.

The title of the wikipedia article itself says Persepolis (comics) and I think it should say (graphic autobiography) because it is not a comic strip.

- Some words in the article are hyperlinked to another wikipedia page but they are red because the wiki page no longer exists, so these hyperlinks should be removed

- Issue if all of the sources are valid and used properly

find one source using a database.

Proposed Edits (to use in drafting new content)

- I will paraphrase some of the quotations used in a more neutral tone, as a majority of the article is quotations from other people. In addition to this, many citations need to be added to the re-paraphrased quotes to better fit Wikipedia's standards for quotations. Many other sentences noticeably need a citation.

- I will fix the structure, for example the character list needs to label characters as in Persepolis book one or two, and the scope of the section needs to be narrowed as it is too detailed. This fix will better fit Wikipedia's standards so one section does not overtake the article.

- I will add information regarding the controversy on genre of the novel to the genre/style section, using the source I found, "Beyond Persepolis: A Bibliographic Essay on Graphic Novels and Comics by Women." The opening statement in genre/style labels the book as a "non-fictional graphic autobiography, or a graphic novel based on Satrapi's life". However the term "novel" usually applies to fiction and there is controversy regarding the labeling of the novel that should be discussed, considering Satrapi herself refers to it as "comics" as noted in the talk page.

- Another possible to do more opposition research in the reception section, found article on how to teach Persepolis in a post 9/11 atmosphere, but needs more research/underdeveloped idea.

Proposed Edit Drafts:

First Paragraph of the Genre/Style section"

"Persepolis is a non-fictional graphic autobiography, or a graphic novel based on Satrapi's life. The genre of graphic novels can be traced back to 1986 with Art Spiegelman’s depiction of the Holocaust through the use of cartoon images of mice and cats. Later, writers such as Aaron McGruder and Ho Che Anderson used graphic novels to discuss themes such as Sudanese orphans and civil rights movements. According to Hamid Naficy, this genre has “become an acceptable medium for discussing serious matters,” by using illustrations to discuss foreign topics, such as those discussed in Persepolis. The “graphic novel” label is not so much a single mindset as a coalition of interests that happen to agree on one thing—that comics deserve more respect. It is part of a "new wave of autobiographical writing by diasporic Iranian women." Satrapi wrote Persepolis in a black-and-white format: "the dialogue, which has the rhythms of workaday family conversations and the bright curiosity of a child's questions, is often darkened by the heavy black-and-white drawings". The use of a graphic novel has become much more predominant in the wake of events such as the Arab Spring and the Green Movement, as this genre employs both literature and imagery to discuss these historical movements. In an interview titled "Why I Wrote Persepolis", Marjane Satrapi said that "graphic novels are not traditional literature, but that does not mean they are second-rate."

Add after citation number 5: '''The term "novel" most commonly refers to books that are fiction. There is some controversy surrounding how to classify the genre of Persepolis, being that it is non-fiction. The term graphic autobiography is preferred by some, but others argue that Marjane Satrapi herself refers to it as the genre of comics. (find source on this because it was only stated in the talk page). Professor Liorah Golomb from the University of Oklahoma states about Persepolis and related books; "As time went on the comics still tended towards the autobiographical, but storytelling gained importance. Most of the women creating comics today are still doing so from a woman's point‐of‐view, but their target audience seems more universal" . (Bushra added this live edit combined with her other two sources but these sentences were my content)'''

Paraphrasing edits (all from genre and style section):

"Visual literacy is based on the idea that pictures can be "read"". From another wiki article direct quote. Change to- Visual literacy stems from the belief that pictures can be "read".

"According to Hamid Naficy, this genre has “become an acceptable medium for discussing serious matters""

'''This genre has become an appropriate forum for examining critical matters, asserts Hamid Naficy of ... (what are this person's credentials?). Lose quotations keep citations.'''

"It is part of a "new wave of autobiographical writing by diasporic Iranian women.""

Naghibi and O'Malley believe that Persepolis is part of a larger movement of autobiographical books by Iranian women.

"The Modern Language Association of America published an article in 2017 that discusses how Satrapi “works through a perpetually dual vocabulary of image and text,” representing Iranian and European culture through drawings and language""

'''Satrapi dually utilizes the text and accompanying drawings to represent Iranian and European culture through both images and language, asserts Marie Otsby in an article for the Modern Langauge Association of America published in 2017. '''

"A paper centered around teaching Persepolis in a Middle School Classroom writes: "Teaching Persepolis had a positive impact on these students’ literacy learning, in particular their critical thinking abilities ... Using a graphic novel like Persepolis in the classroom can enable students to acquire the necessary critical literacy skills that aid them in the important tasks of reading the word and the world (Freire & Macedo, 1987).""

Friere and Macedo argue that teaching Persepolis in a Middle School classroom has proved to be beneficial in the development of students' literacy and critical thinking skills, which are necessary to help them interpret the world around them.

"student's parent stated that the book was inappropriate for the age group assigned. He also “questioned why a book about Muslims was assigned on September 11.”"

After "assigned". '''The parent also inquired into why Persepolis was assigned to the students to read on September 11th. '''

(Note- consult w other 2 group members on what they're doing before doing more paraphrasing of other sections, how to turn this page into a series page)

Third major edit- fixing the character list (part two 5 major edits to delete content is in the character list)

Persepolis: The Story of A Childhood


 * Marjane (main character): nicknamed Marji- a strong girl who follows her parents' footsteps. Marjane's view of the world changes as she matures, but remains a rebellious fighter—actions which sometimes get her into trouble.
 * Mrs. Satrapi (Marjane's mother): Taji is a passionate woman, who is upset with the way things are going in Iran, including the elimination of personal freedoms, and violent attacks on innocent people. She actively takes part in her local government by attending many protests.
 * Mr. Satrapi, Ebi, or Eby (Marjane's father): He also takes part in many political protests with Taji. He takes photographs of riots, which was illegal and very dangerous, if caught.
 * Marjane's Grandmother: Marjane's Grandmother develops a close relationship with Marjane. She enjoys telling Marjane stories of her past, and Marjane's Grandfather.
 * Uncle Anoosh is Marjane's father's brother. At 18, he joined his paternal uncle Fereydoon (Marjane's paternal grandfather's brother) who had linkage to Iranian Azerbaijan, proclaiming independence from Shah's Iran. In response to the Shah's regime, Anoosh fled Iran to the Soviet Union, went to Leningrad then settled in Moscow. He obtained a PhD in Marxism–Leninism, married a Russian woman, and had two daughters before getting divorced. In 1970 he returned to Iran in disguise where he got arrested and spent nine years in prison. He was let out due to the shah’s overthrow and Marjane met him for the first time- she saw him as a hero, they develop a close relationship and is eventually executed by the new Islamic revolutionary authorities.
 * Mehridia: Mahrida, Marjane's house's maid, became friends with Marjane during her childhood. She had a secret relationship with the neighbor boy who was from a higher social class.

Persepolis: The Story of A Return


 * Julie: A teenage friend and schoolmate of Marjane's who takes her in when she is kicked out of the Catholic boarding facility in Vienna. Raised by a single mother, Julie is four years older than Marjane and the two become close friends despite the age difference. Julie is already sexually active with different men and very open, blunt, and direct about sex, unlike teenage Marjane who is sexually timid and still a virgin.
 * Reza: Marjane's husband who she had a socially strained relationship with. They were divorced after two years of marriage.

Addition to the reception section:

In a journal article on how to teach Persepolis in a post 9/11 classroom, Lisa Botshon and Melinda Plastas from the University of Illinois state assert that Persepolis offers a platform for students to question (use different word) Western stereotypes and fear surrounding the Middle East. They also believe that the way women and Iranian society in general are presented in the book can help students come to doubt their perceived sense of national insecurity when it comes to the Middle East. Add citation.

Part two last edit: making 10 small grammar changes to the article, putting Persepolis in italics when needed and moving citations so they are in the proper location. In two of these minor edits, change one word to a different word to reduce repetition.