User:Stephenthornton

Omni Hanukhanism

Omni Hanukhanism is a religion based on the beliefs and principals of Saif Hassan and Ben Camen. This was first created when they were talking at a mid-afternoon eating ritual (lunch). Where they eat various food for a source of nutrion.

BELIEFS

These people (Omns) practice a ritual called Hanakha, not to be confused with chanukah, which is celebrated by Jews. Omns usually have magical powers, as opposed to yamakas, worn by Jews. Omns also hate EUROPEAN CHEESES, Jesus(hay-ZOOCE), Rocky V, and reject the idea of round-worldnessness. Lastly, Omns worship John Heder, as a god. Every Six years they choose a new god to worship. They also proform exocisms to anyone they can find who has sun glasses on at night. Among Omns its disrespectful to say allodoxaphobia witch means the fear of opinions keep that in the forefront of your thinking when speaking to a Omn.

PROJECTED GODz

2005-2011 John Heder

2012-2018 Oprah Winfery

2019-2025 Master Chief (Halo)

2026-2032 Mit Romney

2033-2039 James Brown- THE KING OF SOUL****


 * IT IS SAID IN THE PROPHECY THAT WHEN THE KING OF SOUL RULES THE LAND A GREAT EVIL WILL RAIN UPON THE HATERS AND THE CHOSEN ONE WILL GIVE THE CHOKING MAN OF HUMANITY THE CPR THAT IS HOPE.

THE CHOSEN ONE

EVERY 35 YEARS THE INCARNATION OF THE CHOSEN ONE IS BORN.

PROJECTED CHOSEN ONEz

2005 VASHAWN MILLER

2040 CHRIS LACKEY AND/OR JOHN LENNON AND/OR BARACK OBAMA IV (LOS QUATROS)

2075 APOLLO CREED

2110 888-MRG [A ROBOT CREATED BY THE COMMUNIST STATE OF APPLE WHO WILL BETRAY STEVE JOBS AND BAND TOGETHER WITH OMNS AND PCS AND CREATE A GINOURMOUS BALCK GURU]

CONTROVERSIES

IN 1959 PRE-OMNS CREATED THE MOVIE TEENAGERS FROM OUTER SPACE, DUBBED THE WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME SINCE ITS EVIL CREATION. IN 2005 BEN CAMEN BROGHT A USED BULLET TO SCHOOL, TURNING A PEACEFUL RELIGION INTO A HELLHOLE OF VIOLENCE AND TURMOIL. IN 2008 THE PAKISTANI OMNS ATTACKED MUMBAI IN AN ATTEMPT FORCE INDIANS INTO WATCHING TEENAGERS FROM, OUTER SPACER, OLD RERUNS OF FULL HOUSE, AND WORST OF ALL TAPES OF NC STATE CLASSES

FAMOUS OMNS AND PRE OMNS

Raggedy Anne

Rick Astley

Rocky Balboa (EXCEPT IN ROCKY V)

Tyra Banks

Joe Biden

Al Capone

Tom Cruise

EVERY CHARACTER FROM POKEMON

Cuba Gooding Jr.

Cuba Gooding Sr

Yugi Moto

Lex Luther

Herbert (Family Guy)

Elron Hubbard

John F. Kennedy

Bob Saget

Squanto

HANAKHA

THIS IS WHEN OMNS CHOOSE A NEW GOD. THEY ALSO HAVE SCRABBLE CONTESTS AS WELL AS PICTIONARY. GREAT LEADERS ARE ALLOWED TO PLAY ON THE SACRED MONOPOLY BOARD, WITH REAL MONEY. AT THE END OF THE CELEBRATION EVRYONE RECIETS THE FROSTED FLAKES COMMERCIALS ("There more then good there great") AND THEN THEY DANCE TO JUMP ON IT AND ALL IS WELL.

FOR MORE INFO GO TO http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLrDJ7FojfY   OR  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI